


Open My Eyes

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-19
Updated: 2003-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-27 12:52:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 30,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12081438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian kicks Justin out for a trick... but it doesn't go as he expected.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

"Get the fuck out, Justin!" Brian raged. He and Justin were fighting, yet again. They had been fighting non-stop for weeks. Brian didn't know why he had let Justin stay for as long as he had, but he was surely not going to live like this any longer.

"You're just kicking me out now?" Justin demanded. "After all this?" He was confused about what was going on with Brian. He would be quietly sitting on the couch sketching and Brian would come home and pick a fight. 

"Pretty much." Brian sneered as the sarcasm dripped off his voice. "This is my place anyways. You weren't living here; you just stayed with me for a while. And now you've worn out your welcome. Leave." Brian poured himself a scotch and sat down at the kitchen table regarding Justin with distaste.

"I can't believe this!" Justin exclaimed as he started going around the loft grabbing everything that was his. He was furious with Brian for treating him like this, but he should have expected it. Brian was never nice to him for long.

"Please hurry. I have company coming." Brian delivered the final blow and Justin nearly broke down into tears, something he had vowed he wouldn't do in front of Brian again. At least, not because Brian was telling him, yet again, that he meant nothing to him.

"I'm going as fast as I can." Justin said firmly. "Trust me, I want to be out of here just as much as you want me out."

"Then hurry. Company's coming in 15 minutes. I want you to be gone by then." Brian swigged back his scotch and went into the bathroom to prepare for his trick. Tonight's pleasure was a new waiter at Woody's. Brian had picked him up when he stopped for a drink with Mikey after work. He looked delicious and Brian couldn't wait to get a taste.

"Why did I think that something happened to make him human?" Justin asked himself as he slammed the door of the loft and walked outside. He dropped his huge bad and pulled out his cell phone. He was about to ask directory assistance for the number of a cab company when he saw a familiar face walking towards him. "Ty?" He asked.

"Justin!" His cousin exclaimed before pulling his cousin into a hug. "What are you doing here, man?" Justin sighed and glanced down at his bag, there was no way he could lie.

"This guy I was seeing just kicked me out." Justin said sadly. A look of realization came to Ty's face. Justin became aware that his cousin hadn't been informed of his sexuality.

"Dude, was he like tall, thin, brown hair?" Justin nodded and then groaned. Ty was the trick. "Shit, man." Ty looked down at his feet.

"Don't worry, Ty. He's not my boyfriend." Justin found himself saying. "He's Liberty Avenue's resident asshole and I'm the trick who over stayed his welcome." He bit his lip.

"I've heard all about Brian Kinney. I was just looking to test him out, seeing if the word on the street was true. Someone at work told me about the blonde trick that Brian kept around more than any other." Ty said. It looked like he was thinking really hard. "I think my dear old cousin could tell me all about Brian's techniques." Ty took Justin's hand and pulled him into the building. "Play along."

When Brian pulled open the door to the loft with his famous "fuck me" smile on his face he found his waiter standing there with his arm around Justin. His smile turned to a grimace as Ty started talking.

"Listen, man, I was into it until I got here and saw this delectable morsel outside." Ty's tone was a lot like Brian sounded sometimes when he was on the prowl. Justin smiled at Brian and started running his finger up and down Ty's neck. "And I figured, why have a classic when I can have the newer model with all the new toys."

Justin had to give props to his cousin, who was saying all the right things to drive Brian crazy. "Sorry, Bri." Justin said. "We've gotta go. Ty is taking me back to his apartment." Justin winked and let himself be led out of the building.

Brian was left standing there looking like a wounded dog as his new trick left with his boy toy. This reminded him of the night of the King Babylon contest, and that Sean kid. He wondered if the ache in his chest was from being turned down, which happened to him very rarely, or was it because Justin wasn't broken hearted that Brian's kicked him out. He had just found someone else.

"Did I do that?" Brian asked himself out loud. He was suddenly terrified that he had ruined the beautiful boy that Justin used to be. Had he turned his angel into another Brian Kinney? Had he broken the boys heart one too many times? Brian wasn't used to doubting his decisions, but he also wasn't used to thinking that Justin could be gone for good.

... Meanwhile...

"I figured he'd have issues about his age. Someone told me he's thirty?" Ty said as he and Justin sat in the Liberty diner drinking pop and eating lemon squares.

"Thirty one, last April." Justin said. He couldn't believe it had been almost two years since he had started taking Brian's shit, and he was still taking it, This time he was drowning his sorrows in deserts. Sometimes it was beers at Babylon, this time it was lemon squares at the diner. "Ty, when did you move to the Pitt?" Ty's family lived in Chicago.

"Three weeks ago. And the reason you didn't know is because no one knows. The Taylor family doesn't like fags, I've learned." Ty shrugged. I heard that Liberty Avenue was pretty cool, and a bus ticket to Pittsburgh was cheaper than L.A.

"So you moved here secretly?" Justin asked. He understood completely. If he hadn't been in high school when he came out he probably would have left too. And if he hadn't had Brian's credit card, when he had left he wouldn't have somewhere as cool as New York.

"Yup. Got the job at Woody's, found a little apartment, close to Brian's actually, and here I am!" Ty lifted his arms in a gesture Justin would normally see from Emmett. 

"Hiya, Sunshine." Debbie said as she squeezed herself into the booth next to Justin. "Who's your friend?" She asked as she gave him an approving pinch to his thigh.

"Deb, this is my cousin Ty. Ty, this is my den mother Debbie Novotny." Justin introduced. Debbie shook his hand and quickly turned to Justin.

"He kicked you out, didn't he?" Debbie demanded angrily. "Did some flaky trick come around or did he just throw you out for no reason?" Debbie was very good at getting angry with Brian really fast.

"Some flaky trick came alone." Ty said raising his hand. "Don't worry, Mrs. Novotny, we gave Brian a good taste of his own medicine." Debbie oohed and ahhed over Ty for a while and then excused herself to go take a table.

"Don't worry, I thought she was a freak the first time I met her too." Justin said seeing the look on his cousin's face. "I even told her son. She's done a lot for me. She let me stay with her when I had no place to live, she was like my second mom."

"Your lucky, J." Ty said. "My parents kicked me out and I had no place to go."

"Your parents are strict Catholics, aren't they?" Justin asked. He couldn't imagine what it would have been like to be gay in a religious family.

"Yeah, and they caught me fucking in the confessional." Ty laughed. "I wasn't meant to be a Taylor anyways. I think I'm the mailman's kid."

"Ty!" Justin laughed.

"Justin!" The familiar bark set Justin's heart racing.

"The jig is up." Justin tried to joke, but felt more than a little nervous about Brian walking up behind him. He refused to turn and look at Brian, but Ty's eyes were glued. Justin could just imagine the anger in Brian's face.

"Can we help you?" Ty asked standing toe to toe with Brian. "We were grabbing some food because it's no fun to fuck on an empty stomach."

"Fuck off. This is between me and Justin." Brian couldn't believe he was being so outwardly jealous but he had realized some time ago that all his friends knew when he was anyways. "Justin, you're coming back to the loft."

"Brian, leave me alone. I'm about to get laid." Justin didn't even look up, just dipped a fry into some ketchup and shoved it in his mouth.

"Ty, let's get out of here." Justin threw some money on the table and stood to leave the diner. Brian grabbed his arm. "Fuck off, Brian. You kicked me out!" Justin stormed out of the diner. 

"Stay away from him." Brian warned Ty before he left through the back door. He didn't want Justin to think he was following him, even though he sort of was. He watched as Justin say down on the curb and put his face in his hands. Ty came out of the diner and put his arms around Justin who just cried and cried. 

"Maybe it is better this way." Brian said to himself taking one last look at Justin before driving off to spend the evening brooding at home. He hoped Justin had fun.


	2. Chapter 2

"Justin!" Ty called. "Hurry up!" Justin had decided to stay with Ty instead on moving back into Deb's place. Ty had a good-sized apartment, and Justin knew he would have a good time staying with his cousin. Tonight was Ty's night off so he and Justin were heading out to Babylon. 

"I'm coming. I'm coming." Justin stepped into the living room dressed in a pair of black pants and a tight white cotton shirt. He was secretly hoping to see Brian at the club and make him want him back.

"Looking good, cuz." Ty said. He slid his hand through his hair to perfect his messy, just-out-of-bed look. 'Let's go." He threw a casual arm around Justin and they left the apartment.

Liberty Avenue was already very busy, as usual on Friday night. There were guys everywhere and the pair of cousins were getting hit on right and left. At 22, Ty looked like an underwear model. Justin, of course, attracted the guys who liked the young, sweet look. Between the two of them, they attracted more men than most groups. Justin remembered that was how it was when he walked down Liberty with Brian. Except that no one hit on him while he was with Brian, they knew better.

As they were about to enter Babylon, Justin glanced over and saw the Jeep. Brian's Jeep was parked in it's usual spot so Justin knew that he and the boys were inside. His heart started beating a little faster. 

"Hey, Justin." Ty said in a funny voice. "Don't take Kinney back until you make him grovel a little, alright?"

"What makes you think I'm going to take him back at all?" Justin tried to sound tough and nonchalant.

"Don't pull that shit with me, I know you're in love with the guy." Ty took Justin's hand. "Just don't let him keep getting away with treating you like shit."

"I won't, Ty." Justin said. Ty looked over and wasn't convinced. He made a promise to himself that, now that he was in Pittsburgh, he would keep an eye on his little cousin,

When they walked into Babylon, the scene was already jumping. There were hundreds of guys dancing on the dance floor, skin gleaming with sweat and sparkles. Justin saw Brian immediately. He was at the bar with Michael, Ted, and Emmett. He was glaring at Ty having seen the two boys walk in. 

"Let's get a drink, shall we?" Ty said. He put his arm around Justin and led him to the bar. Justin couldn't help but feel like he had gone from being with Brian who, contrary to what everyone thought, was very protective of him, to Ty who was obviously protective of him.

"Ty, I gotta go the washroom." Justin said. He saw, out of the corner of his eye, that Brian was watching. He pressed a kiss to Ty's cheek and walked away.

Justin was washing his hands and fixing his hair when Brian walked into the washroom, He looked menacing under the red lights. "Gotta look perfect for you new boyfriend." Brian sounded angry.

"You know how it is." Justin shrugged and tried to walk past Brian, who grabbed him arm and jerked him back to face him.

"I told him to stay away from you." Brian growled. "You deserve better than that trash." Justin turned and slapped Brian in the face. Whatever Ty was, he was still family and Justin didn't have to listen to Brian insult him.

"I deserve better than you, too." Justin hissed. Brian looked wounded. He realized that the way to get Justin to come back wasn't to be demanding. Justin tried to walk out again.

"Justin, I..."

Brian was cut off when Justin hissed, "Too little, too late, Brian." He pulled him arm away and walked out. His breathing increased and he started to panic, sure that he had just ruined his last chance.

"Justin, what happened?" Emmett saw the distraught look on the boy's face. "Did he hurt you? He's been a bear since... Well, since you left." Emmett started cooing over Justin.

"No, he didn't hurt me." Justin said as if he were in a trance. "I think I found the chink in his armor and hurt him."

"Honey, you are the chink in his armor." Emmett said. "Anyone who knows him knows that if you want to get to Brian Kinney, go through Justin Taylor."

"Why?" Justin finally looked up into Emmett's eyes.

"He loves ya, kid." Emmett kissed Justin's temple. "And I think he's starting to realize it." Justin hugged Emmett quickly and with a quick "later" went to find Ty.

"Let's get out of here." Justin said when he found Ty dancing with a very familiar looking man in his twenties. "The scene is cold."

"Well, well, well..." The guy Ty was dancing with said. "If it isn't the boy with the yummy jambalaya." Justin finally recognized the guy as Brian's "hotlanta" trick.

"Hi." Justin said uncomfortably. He could see that Ty was scoping out another guy across the dance floor and something popped into his head.. "I'm going to get going. Wanna come?" He ran his finger seductively up the trick's shirt. 

"You got it." The trick said with a smile. He threw his arm around Justin and they started walking away. 

"See you later, Ty." Justin called but Ty was already walking over to the object of his desire, a tall Asian man.

Across the dance floor Brian watched Justin leave with the southern guy. He couldn't believe that now Justin was going home with the same tricks that Brian had gone with before. It was starting to scare him to see Justin out tricking, he was afraid that he had truly tarnished what was once beautiful.

"Go get him!" Emmett said as he slapped Brian upside the head.

"Emmett, that only happens once, next time I kick the shit out of you." Brian said through clenched teeth. Emmett wasn't intimidated in the least.

"Next time I figure out what you're thinking, or next time I hit you?" Emmett asked cleverly.

"Shut the fuck up." Brian said and walked away. Before he knew it he was outside the club and faced with what he wanted to see least in the world. Justin had the trick pressed up against the wall in the alley. They were kissing and pulling at each other's clothes.

At that moment, seeing his baby like that, Brian made a decision. He strode over to the kissing couple and grabbed Justin by the shirt. "Get the fuck out of here." He growled at the trick, who scurried away.

"What the fuck are you doing, Brian?" Justin demanded angrily. He was getting tired of Brian playing all protective and then dumping him over and over.

"What, are you taking my leftovers now?" Brian demanded. He had calmed his voice from sounding furious to sounding annoyed.

"Are there any fags left in Pittsburgh that you haven't fucked?" Justin asked.

"Only ugly ones." Brian's voice was now much calmer.

"You must be so proud." Justin said sarcastically. "And to think, I'm one of your leftovers now. The trick who stayed too long, as Michael so fondly calls me." Brian could see the hurt staining Justin's blue eyes, and he knew he hadn't lost him. Not yet,

"Come back to the loft, Justin." Brian took Justin's hand and spoke gently. "I need you tonight." Justin couldn’t help it. One the rare occasions that such admissions escaped Brian's lips, he could do nothing but what Brian wanted. 

The ride was silent. Justin stared out the passenger side window and thought about how much had happened in only one short week. A week ago, he was living with Brian and everything felt good. Now he was living with Ty, and things were in upheaval.

Brian watched the road. His whole body felt alive now that Justin was beside him again. He couldn't admit to anyone, he could barely admit it to himself, but he loved this beautiful boy, he needed him. At this moment, he felt like he would change his whole world if only he could have Justin back.

"Close the door." Brian said as Justin stood at the doorway to the loft, like he had on the first night. The beautiful loft intimidated him. It really shouldn't have, since he had been living there for months until but a week ago.

"Brian..." Justin started to speak after closing the door and coming into the loft, but Brian silenced him with a finger to his lips. 

"Don't speak." Brian whispered and lowered his mouth. He realized that the bad taste he had in his mouth for the last week wasn't something he ate. He had missed the taste of Justin's mouth more than he could say.

"Mmmm..." Justin moaned as he and Brian kissed their way to the bed, the bed that had seen so many of their sexual encounters. Everything felt right when they were together. Their body's fit together perfectly; their mouths slanted just enough to meld into one. 

Later, as a wave of orgasm passed through Justin's body, he buried his face in the pillows and left let the tears flow. Everything felt perfect, but Justin was beginning to believe that perfection was an illusion.

"Oh, Justin." Brian cried as he too felt release. He pulled Justin close and drifted off the sleep. Justin's body felt warm against his and he was determined not to let him go ever again. He smiled. Everything was right again.

Justin waited for Brian's breathing to slow and even out so that he knew he was sleeping before slipping out of the bed and pulling his clothes on. He took one last look at Brian before leaving the loft silently. As he walked back to Ty's apartment, which was only a few blocks away, he thought about the weight of the decision he had just made. Brian had admitted to needing him and Justin knew that he meant more than just needing to fuck. So why had he gotten up and snuck out? Justin wasn't sure, all he knew was there was no turning back.

 

"Baby?" Brian called when he woke up to an empty bed. He had dreamed of waking up with his Sunshine by his side. But he wasn't there. "Justin!" He called. There was silence in the loft and Brian knew that Justin was gone. He reached over to Justin's side of the bed, it was cold. He had been gone for hours.

Brian waited for what had happened to sink in. He had admitted to needing Justin more than anything the previous night and Justin took that as being needed for a fuck and that alone. Brian was having a hard time admitting to himself that it was so much more than that. He needed Justin in his life, he wanted to go to sleep with him every night and wake up with him every morning. Admitting this was the hardest thing he would ever admit. 

I'll just have to try harder, Brian thought to himself. He leaned back against the pillows and thought back to the previous night. He thought about how Justin had felt pressed against him, how he body felt, how he tasted, how he smelled. The memories, he knew, would have to sustain him until he figured out how to get Justin back for real. And he would, he promised himself he would. And as soon as he had Justin, he would have everything he needed.

 

 

"So, how was that guy last night?" Ty asked that morning as he and Justin sipped coffee before starting their prospective days. Ty was working the afternoon shift at Woody's, Saturday afternoons tended to be busy. And Justin was going out to pick up some art supplies for school and then spending the afternoon looking after Gus while Lindsay and Melanie went shopping for new furniture for Gus's bedroom.

"Incredible." Justin sighed thinking about being in Brian's arms. He was so unsure of his decision to leave, because the only thing he had wanted was to spend forever in Brian's embrace. 

"Oh yah?" Ty asked. "It was sure quick. He came back inside."

"Oh, him." Justin remembered the "hotlanta" trick and panicked. He wasn't ready to tell Ty about going home with Brian. He wanted to brood about it for a while.

"I know you went home with Kinney." Ty said. "And I'm not going to say anything about it. You look like you're going to throw up anyways." Ty stood and put his cup in the sink. "Just remember, make him earn you." With that, Ty went into his bedroom and closed the door.

"What if I haven't earned him?" Justin asked himself sadly. He thought of their bodies, pressed together, tangled in Brian's sheets. And he thought of Brian's whispered words, his admission that he needed Justin. And Justin wondered if it was true. Did Brian need him as much as he needed Brian, or was it really over this time?


	3. Chapter 3

"Linds, I can't believe you're making me do this." Brian groaned as he, Lindsay, and Gus walked down Liberty Avenue looking at all the little kiosk’s.

"Brian, ever since Justin left, you've barely left the loft." Lindsay said. 'It's time to get on with your life." Brian looked at her and sneered. It had been a few weeks since the last time he spoke to Justin, and as much as he had wanted to talk to him, wanted to try and get him back, he had given up. Every time he saw Justin he was with that flake, Ty. 

"And what better way than to spend an afternoon on Liberty Avenue wandering around pretending to be shopping." He said sarcastically. "Hang on. I'm going in there to buy some lube." Brian wandered into a little sex shop. 

Lindsay waited outside the store and looked around. She loved spending an afternoon on Liberty with Gus. There were people everywhere, different people than the evening crowd, and the hustle and bustle excited Gus.

"Hey, Linds." A familiar voice said from behind her. She hadn't seen Justin in a couple of weeks. Ted had told her that they saw him at Babylon almost every night with that new guy, Ty. No one really knew what was going on, all they knew was that as soon as Brian saw the blond boy, he found an excuse to leave. 

"Hi, Justin." Lindsay said. "How are you?" She felt a little bit uncomfortable knowing that Brian was just inside that store. Justin took Gus's hand and started cooing at him.

"I'm ok." Justin shrugged. "A little tired." Lindsay saw the fatigue on his face, obviously the club scene was getting to him. His skin lacked the youthful glow it once held, and there were dark circles under his eyes.

"Spending too much time at Babylon." Lindsay scolded gently. Justin shrugged. "You should come visit, Justin. Bring your boyfriend."

"My what?" Justin was confused. Lindsay saw this and was now sure that he and Ty were just friends, nothing more.

"Ty?" Lindsay asked gently.

"Oh." Justin realized who she was talking about and knew that the gay grapevine had been a buzz. He wondered how Brian felt about the talk that Justin was taken.

"I got three different kinds." Brian's smile faded when he saw Justin standing there. He wasn't sure what to say or how to react. Justin looked beautiful, he always did in Brian's eyes, with the sun glimmering off his hair. He didn't even notice the signs that Justin hadn't been getting much sleep. "Justin." He said cordially.

"Hi, Brian." Justin said quietly. Had he known that Lindsay was out with Brian, and not with Mel, he wouldn't have come over to say hello. The last time they had spoken, or even been in close proximity to each other was the night Brian told Justin that he needed him. "I'd better get going. I'm meeting Ty for lunch." Justin gave Lindsay and Gus each a kiss on the cheek and gave Brian one last regretful look before hurrying away.

"Did you know he was going to be here?" Brian would have been angry, but seeing Justin had weakened him. He hated feeling helpless whenever Justin was around.

"No, Brian, of course not!" Lindsay said with horror. "As much as I want you two to be together, I would never set it up. What happened anyways?"

"He left me." Brian said simply. He watched Justin walk down the street towards the diner. "I finally let someone in and he left." Brian realized how he sounded and his face hardened. "I have to go. I have to put this lube to use." And with that, he was gone, disappeared into the crowds.

"Oh, Gus, what are we going to do with those two?" Lindsay sighed and kissed her son. There had to be something that she, Mel, and the boys could do. They had to bring the light back to Brian and Justin's eyes.

"Cheese, mummy!" Gus giggled. Lindsay laughed and continued her shopping, the entire time her mind was on how to get Brian and Justin back together.

 

 

"Hey, Ty." Justin said as he slipped into the booth at the diner. He was still shaken at seeing Brian. They had seen each other at Babylon, but had avoided each other. Justin would usually see Brian right when he got there, and then not see him again for the rest of the night.

"Hey." Ty said. He was also preoccupied. "My mom called today. She talked to your mom." Ty's voice was flat. 

"Oh, no." Justin breathed. "What did she say?" Ty looked up at his cousin. Justin could see the wetness in his eyes.

"She told me never to come home. She said that I chose this lifestyle and I can live with that. She said I'm welcome to come home when I'm married to a nice girl." Ty's body started to shake. Justin knew what he was feeling exactly. Being told that your parent's love is conditional is the hardest thing a person can hear.

"Oh, Ty." Justin reached across and held Ty's hand while he let the tears flow. Ty wasn't afraid to show emotions, even in public. "Don't worry. You still have me and mom and Molly. We'll adopt you as part of our little family."

"Thanks, man." Ty said wiping his eyes. Knowing that his cousins and his aunt were there for him made him feel a little better. When Debbie came over to get their orders, Ty ordered just a cup of coffee.

"Ok, sugar." Debbie turned to Justin. "What can I get ya, Sunshine?"

"Turkey sandwich on rye. And a Pepsi." Justin said. "Thanks, Deb." 

"You two are a sorry sight." Debbie looked from Justin to Ty and back noticing that they were both troubled. 

"Just one of those days, Deb. Bad moon." Justin said. He watched Debbie walk away without another word and his thoughts were back to Brian. Was it possible that, by leaving that morning after they were together again, he had hurt Brian? Emmett said that he was the chink in Brian's armor, what did that mean?

"You saw Kinney." Ty said seeing Justin's face. The look in his eyes showed that he was conflicted. "Did he say anything to you?"

"Just 'hi'." Justin said. He didn't look up, just kept staring at the table trying to figure out how to handle the Brian situation. When Debbie brought his lunch, he only picked at it. He wasn't sure why nothing tasted good anymore.

 

 

"I have had enough of this!" Emmett exclaimed as he, Lindsay, Melanie, and Ted sat around the dining room table at Linds and Mel's place. They were all tired of dealing with Brian's moods and seeing Justin a mess.

"Well, what can we do?" Melanie asked. She had to admit that she actually liked Brian when he was with Justin. She wanted to help just as much as everyone else.

"How about a party?" Emmett suggested. "We can invite them both, and just pray that they talk to each other."

"I don't think Brian would stay if Justin was there." Ted said. "Em, you've seen him at Babylon. As soon as he sees Justin he leaves. He won't even go to Woody's anymore now that Ty works there."

"Why don't we just lock them in a confined space until they talk it out?" Melanie suggested. "If they won't be in the same room together long enough to talk, we can force them to be."

"Ooh, I like that idea!" Emmett exclaimed clapping his hands together. Lindsay just sat quietly watching the exchange. She was surprised that everyone was as insistent as she was about getting Brian and Justin back together.

"We could say that something happened to Gus. Get them both over here." Ted said. Melanie looked a little skeptical.

"Do you think they would hate us for using Gus to get to them?" She asked. Everyone pondered for a second. It was now that Lindsay finally spoke up.

"If Brian thought something happened to Gus he would be right over. We could tell Justin that something happened to my mother or something and we need him to watch Gus." She said. "Once they get here we could lock them in Gus's room."

"Woo, Lindsay!" Emmett waved his hand dramatically. "Now you're talking." He paused thoughtfully. "Do you think it will work? Do you think our divine intervention could get them back together?"

"And what about Ty?" Ted asked. "Justin is with him 24/7."

"Don't worry, he's not Justin's boyfriend." Lindsay ran her hand through her hair. "When I talked to Justin today I told him to come over for dinner and bring his boyfriend. He was clueless as to who I was talking about."

"So, why don't we do it right now?" Ted said. "We can get them over here, and back together and be out of here in time to go to Babylon."

"Is that all you think about?" Melanie smacked Ted across the back of the head. Ted looked over at her and grinned. It was all he thought about.

"Yup. Sure is." Ted said with a grin. Lindsay grabbed the phone and returned to the table.

"Ok, which one do I call first?" She asked as she prepared to dial. Everyone agreed that she should call Justin first, it would be easier to keep him here. "No giggling." She warned looking at Emmett. Justin answered the phone on the first ring.

"Hello." He said.

"Hi, Justin. It's Lindsay. Could you come over? My mother had an accident and me and Mel have to go to the hospital right away." Lindsay did her best to make her voice sound panicked. Justin bought it.

"Give me ten minutes!" He said before hanging up.

"Score!" Lindsay said after pressing the end button. Next was the call to Brian. "Bri, I need you to come over. Gus had a nightmare and he's calling for his daddy. He won't calm down. He keeps screaming for you."

"I'll be right over, Linds." Brian said. He also hung up without saying good-bye. The plan was working to perfection. So they waited. Once Justin arrived they dragged him upstairs to Gus's room and held his mouth. He didn't know what was going on, but he didn't like it. Not one bit.

Brian arrived only a few minutes later. Lindsay greeted him at the door and, though he had been ready to hurry upstairs and comfort his son, he stopped. "I don't hear any screaming, Peterson." Brian growled. 

"Maybe he can sense that you're here." Lindsay thought quickly. "He stopped crying as soon as the doorbell rang."

"Next time try ringing the doorbell before you drag me all the way over here." Brian said before starting up the stairs to see his son. When he got to the doorway, he saw Emmett hurrying out of the room. Before he could react, he was shoved into Gus's bedroom and the door was slammed behind him.

"What the fuck is this?" Brian demanded seeing Justin lying on the floor. A shadow of realization came to his face. "They're trying to get us back together." He sneered. 'Don't you idiots know that Justin has a boyfriend?" He called loudly.

"No, I don't." Justin said quietly. Brian spun around to look at him. His eyes were clouded with confusion. He quickly hardened his exterior.

"Then what the fuck is Ty? Your fuck buddy?" Brian was pacing now. Justin could tell her was agitated. Justin sighed and decided that it was time to tell Brian the real story.

"He's my cousin."

"Your what?" Brian stopped pacing and stood stalk still while he stared at Justin. Justin took a deep breath and started from the beginning.

"When you threw me out for some trick, I was so hurt." Justin took a deep breath knowing that Brian was going to let him purge everything he had been holding in. "While I was waiting for a cab outside, I saw him coming. I couldn't believe that my own cousin was the trick I was getting ousted for. 

"When I told him what happened, he decided to get you back. He pulled me upstairs and told me to play along. I have to give him snaps, he knew just what to sat to get to you. I could see the nerve above your eyebrow twitching. That always happens when someone is really getting to you. When you told me that you didn't want him to see me anymore, I decided to give you a taste of your own medicine. I started being seen with Ty everywhere. 

"Soon everyone started thinking that we were a thing, kind of like some people used to think of you and Michael, and I just never corrected them. The only person who knows that Ty is my cousin in Deb." Justin sighed. 

"Why did you leave that night?" Brian asked quietly. He had softened hearing that he had hurt him to the point where Justin needed to hurt him back.

"I was scared." Justin admitted. "It's like you need me for a little while and then you throw me out of your life again." Justin turned and looked out the window.

"I fucked you up." Brian said solemnly. He thought to himself that by wanting Justin back, by planning to woo him and make everything perfect, he was only being selfish. Every time Justin let himself trust Brian, he got it thrown back in his face. Justin turned to look at him with wide eyes; he wanted to tell him that it wasn't his fault. Brian was already gone. He had slammed his body against the door sending it flying open. He felt like a caged animal, caged by his mistakes. He had to get out. 

"Brian!" Lindsay called. "Brian!" She watched him get in his Jeep and pull out of the driveway recklessly. "Briaaaaaannnn!" She screamed as she saw the Jeep lose control. "Nooooo!" There was the sound of crunching metal and breaking glass, and then there was silence but for Lindsay's cries. As she ran over to where the Jeep lay crumpled, she cried and cried.

"No! Brian! No!" Justin's cries echoed Lindsay's as he too joined her in the street. When he saw Brian, blood pouring from his head, eyes closed, chest heaving far too quickly he turned and threw up. Soon, he was in the comfort of Melanie's arms as the sirens came closer and closer. The ambulance came to take Brian away.


	4. Chapter 4

"Why won't they tell us anything?" Lindsay demanded. She, Melanie, Justin, Emmett, Ted, Michael, and Debbie were waiting while the doctors worked on Brian. Vic was at the Novotny house taking care of Gus, and Debbie was calling him every half hour with an update.

"Because none of us are family." Melanie said. Debbie stood and started pacing.

"We're all his fucking family!" Debbie exclaimed. "In all the ways that matter anyways." Michael stood and put his arms around his mother as she started to sob again. They had been there for over an hour with no word.

"Well, I'm not just going to stand here." Lindsay stood and walked over to the desk. She was bringing out her last weapon. "Excuse me."

"I've already today you, Miss Peterson." The nurse at the desk said with exasperation. "We can't tell you anything unless you are family."

"Listen, the father of my child is in there. I think that I have every right to know." Lindsay ground out. She hadn't wanted to make a scene, but it was getting ridiculous already.

"I thought he was gay." The nurse said with shock.

"Gay men have sperm too. Now will you please give me an update." Lindsay was quickly losing her patience, which wasn't a regular occurrence for her. "Do you need to see documentation?"

"Yes. " The nurse said firmly. She lost some of her composure when Lindsay pulled an envelope out of her wallet. She always carried a copy of Gus's birth certificate, and the papers Brian signed giving Melanie parental rights. She handed the birth certificate to the nurse.

"Now are you going to tell me?" Lindsay started tapping her foot with irritation. The nurse nodded and walked down the corridor silently. When she returned she was carrying a chart.

"Mr. Kinney has suffered severe internal injuries. They're operating right now." The nurse said. "I'll keep you up to date."

"Thank you." Lindsay walked away. She was biting her lip to keep from crying. Knowing the seriousness of Brian's injuries didn't calm her any. 

"What did she tell you?" Melanie asked when Lindsay sat down shakily and lowered her head for a moment. When she looked up, her face was stained with tears.

"He has internal injuries. He's in surgery." Lindsay could barely speak. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Justin stood and walked out of the waiting room.

"Emmett, go talk to him." Melanie said. She held Lindsay close while she cried. 

They were all praying that Brian was going to be alright. Michael, after having let go of his mother when she went to call Vic, was sitting in the corner staring straight ahead. Ted walked over to him and draped an arm across his shoulders. All was silent except for Lindsay's muffled sobs.

 

"Justin." Emmett said quietly. Justin turned and looked at his friend. His face was wet with fresh tears. He was terrified that his last words to Brian would be the accusing words he spoke that caused Brian's accident.

"It's my fault, Em." Justin spoke the words slowly, as if more to himself than to Emmett. Hearing them in his own ears sent him into another fit of sobs. Emmett sat next to him and held him close. 

"Oh, no, baby. It's not your fault. It was a car accident." Emmett didn't believe the words himself, but he also didn't believe that it was Justin's fault. He believed that it was his fault, along with Ted, Melanie, and Lindsay. If they weren't trying to fix that which may not have been broken, Brian would be fine now.

"He wanted to get away from him. I was accusing him. If it weren't for me, he would have been going so fast." Justin's hold on Emmett tightened. He was so scared that he was going to lose Brian without getting to tell him how much he loved him.

"Justin!" Ty called. He had just arrived at the hospital having heard about the accident through the Liberty grapevine. Justin stood and ran to his cousin, who had been his only lifeline for the last few weeks. With Ty he felt safe. As Ty held him, he started crying again.

"I could lose him, Ty." Just shook with fear and pain. "I could lose him." The world seemed so wrong with Brian lying in that bed, hurt and alone, maybe even dying.

"You aren't going to lose him." Ty said. "Let's go back inside. It's cold out here." He kept his arm around Justin as they returned to the waiting room. Everyone was looking at Justin questioningly, except Debbie of course.

"Have you guys all met Justin's cousin Ty?" Debbie asked. Her throat was scratchy from crying. Everyone looked like a light bulb had turned on in their heads. They all said polite nice-to-meet-you's and went back to sitting in silence. An hour later, they were all asleep, still waiting for Brian to get out of surgery.

 

"Justin. Justin, wake up." Lindsay's voice floated into Justin ears and he opened his eyes. Her face was covered in tears and her eyes looked stricken with pain and sorrow. He felt his chest tighten and his breath stop. And that was when Justin knew. Brian was gone forever. He looked around and saw the tears on everyone's faces, the sorrow in their eyes.

"Nooooo!" He screamed. He rolled onto the floor and curled into a ball. The pain he felt in his chest was unbearable. He wanted to get up, he wanted to run, but he was paralyzed. He needed to see Brian. He couldn't believe he was gone until he saw him.

He wasn't sure how it happened, or where the time was gone, but soon he was at Brian's funeral. The snow crunched under his feet, and the cold wind whipped against his face. There were hundreds of people surrounding the burial site and he had to push his way through the crowd to get near the casket. Michael stood there, dressed all in black, holding a rose and crying. 

Lindsay and Melanie stood with Gus. Melanie holding both of them as they cried. Gus must have known that his father was gone. Debbie and Vic, also dressed in black, stood near Michael, both lost in their own thoughts, their own sorrow. Emmett was clutched to Ted sobbing uncontrollably. And then Justin stopped. He saw Brian, jaw clenched, eyes wet.

"That's not right." Justin said. And then he looked and he saw his mother, his father, Molly, Daphne. He looked down, terrified. "Nooo!" He screamed when he saw his name on the tombstone. 

 

"Justin, wake up!" Debbie's voice woke him this time. He found himself in the hospital waiting room, everyone was still asleep except for himself and Debbie. "You were having a nightmare, honey." Justin took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down.

"Brian...?" Justin spoke only his name and Debbie knew what he needed to know. "He's out of surgery, but he's in critical condition. Sweetie, it he doesn't make it..."

"Don't say that, Debbie." Justin fought not to think about what would happen if Brian didn't make it. "He's Brian Kinney, he'll make it." Justin bit back the tears that wanted to spill from his eyes. 

"Ma, Justin's right." Michael said. He had been awake for their whole conversation. "Brian won't let himself die, not in a car accident."

Suddenly, Justin stood. He walked over to the nurse. He recognized her. She had been on evening duty when he was in the hospital after the attack. "Excuse me, Judy." Justin said politely.

"Well, if it isn't Justin Taylor." Judy said with a smile. "What brings you in? Is everything alright?"

"Brian...." Justin struggled to finish the sentence. "Is there any way I can get into his room? There's something I need him to hear, something that might make him want to make it.."

"Wait." Judy, who had just come on duty while Justin was sleeping, tried to process what Justin had just told her. "Brian Kinney is the Brian who came here every night while you were here." She felt like she had been slugged in the gut.

"He was in a car accident." Justin had to once again control his emotions. Every time he had to say the words, he felt the stirring of emotion in his chest.

"No one is supposed to go in there. He's in critical condition." The nurse said. She looked conflicted for a moment. "As long as you don't touch him and you aren't in there for long, you can see him."

"Oh, thank you, Judy!" Justin wanted to jump up and hug her, but chose to restrain himself. When they entered the room, Justin wasn't sure he made the right choice. Seeing Brian laying in that bed, looking so fragile, his head bandaged, Justin's heart broke.

"You have five minutes, Justin." Judy offered a small smile before turning and exiting the room. Justin pulled a chair close to Brian's bed. He reached out to take Brian's hand, but then remembered what Judy said.

"They told me I can't touch you." He said. "Thing is, when you're around, I need to touch you. I can restrain myself this time because I don't want to hurt you. See, having you in my life, no matter how many ups and downs there are, I feel safe. These last few weeks I've missed that so much. Brian, I want you to do your best to get better. I need you tonight." The last words were whispered. 

"I love you, Brian. No matter what has happened with us, I love you more than anything in my life. I told my parents that when they first asked about you. They said you didn't love me. And you didn't. But I know you do now. And I know that we can work things out. We're both happier when we're together." The tears were flowing and Justin wasn't sure he was going to be able to finish.

"Please don't leave me, Brian. Not now." Justin turned and ran from the room, his heart breaking. He didn't know how he had gotten through everything he wanted to say, but somehow he had.

"Justin, what's wrong?" Michael called as he saw Justin run from the hospital. He followed him and saw him sitting on a bench outside with his knees pulled up to his chest.

"What if he dies, Michael?" Justin cried. He didn't know what he would do if Brian died. "He's so young, and... and... I love him, Michael. I love him so much." Justin continued to sob as Michael pulled him into an embrace.

 

 

"Hey." Justin looked up to see Debbie standing next to him. It had been over five hours since he had gone into Brian's room. The doctors said that his vital signs had improved slightly, but he was still in critical condition, they were monitoring him closely.

"Hey, Deb." Justin said. He looked down again. They had moved to a more private waiting room. They were all still there. Melanie had left at dawn to pick up Gus and take him to her sister's place, but she had since returned. Everyone was praying for Brian to pull through.

"He's strong, Justin." She sat down next to him and took his hand. "Brian has taken a lot of licks in his life and they've only made him stronger. I have faith that this one will too."

"Debbie, I don't want to talk about it." Justin sighed and laid down on Debbie's lap. He didn't want the comforting words, but he needed the physical contact. Debbie fought back the emotions yet again as she stroked her Sunshine's hair. If Brian didn't pull through, she wasn't sure if Justin would either. And it broke her heart that she could lose two sons in one night, one in body and one in heart.

Justin fell asleep not long after Debbie starting stroking his hair, the touch comforting him enough to close his eyes. He wanted so badly to believe that Brian would pull through, but he was terrified that he wouldn't be that lucky. He and Brian had almost been separated by death once before. Maybe what hadn't happened then was destined to happen now.

 

Justin woke up around noon. He saw that everyone was still there with him, waiting for news on Brian. There had been nothing. Justin had never been very religious, but he felt that, if there was ever a time for it, that time was now. He stood and walked down the corridor. He thought about what he would lose if he lost Brian. And he fell to his knees.

"Take the very breath you gave me. Take the heart from my chest. I'll gladly take his place if you'll let me. Make this my last request." Justin repeated lyrics from a song that his father used to love. A Tim McGraw song. He surprised himself, because now he knew what it was like to value someone else's life over his own.

"Justin." Michael said somberly from behind him. "The doctor has some news." Justin was up in a flash and they returned to the waiting room. The doctor stood in front of everyone holding a chart. He had seen them there all night and the entire morning. He knew that they would all want to be there when he told them the news.

"Well, doctor, tell us." Debbie said a few moments after Justin and Michael had returned when the doctor stayed silent. 

"He woke up. He's not completely out of the woods yet, but we're taking him off the critical list." The doctor slowly smiled. "He's asking for someone."

"Who?" Lindsay asked quickly even though they all knew the answer. 

"Justin." The doctor said. Justin's face lit up and he looked to the ceiling. He silently said a thank you before following the doctor to Brian's room. He saw that Brian was sitting up slightly. He looked pale, but when he saw Justin his eyes lit up.

"Justin..." He breathed and then smiled. Justin walked over to the bed quickly and kissed Brian's lips. He was careful not to hurt him, but he needed to touch him. "Oh, I'm so glad you're here."

"I'm glad you're here too." Justin whispered. "I was so scared, Brian." His eyes were wet again and when Brian saw he touched a hand to Justin's cheek. 

"There's no need to be scared anymore. I'm here to stay." Brian took Justin's hand. He knew that they had a long way to go, but sensed that this tragedy would bring one good thing. They would both be willing to fight for each other. Brian smiled. Yes, everything would be alright.

"I love you." Justin said. He brought Brian's fingers to his lips and lightly kissed the tips.

"I love you, too." Brian said. He pulled Justin close and they kissed. Yes, the world was looking up.


	5. Chapter 5

"Ahh, home sweet loft." Brian said as Justin and Michael helped him into the loft after three weeks in the hospital. There had been some rough patches, but the doctors sent Brian home with orders to take it easy. Everyone involved was relieved and overjoyed that Brian had made it through. 

Whenever anyone had visited Brian in the hospital, they were never annoyed by his sarcasm or brashness. They were just pleased that he was back to the same old Brian. It was only Justin, who spent a lot of time with Brian alone, who saw the changes that Brian had gone through after his near-death experience. He knew that Brian was evaluating all the choices he made in his life and realized that he wasn't ready to die. There was still so much that he wanted to experience and in almost dying he realized it. 

The hospital room had been filled with cards and flowers from people who were concerned about Brian. Cynthia visited often, no matter how much she had to put up with working for Brian she truly enjoyed her job and respected and admired Brian. Marty Ryder had come by a couple of times, telling Brian that they missed him at work and there was going to be a lot waiting for him when he returned. Several people that Brian was acquainted with from the bars and clubs stopped in and brought flowers. 

Emmett and Ted came by often, saying that they missed being abused by Brian and wanted to get their daily fix. In truth, they were worried about Brian as much as everyone else. Lindsay brought Gus by every morning. It brought a smile to Brian's lips and color to his face to see his son. Michael was there often as well. He and Justin had come to an understanding. One of them was there at all times. Debbie and Vic also came by every day. Debbie would fawn over Brian like a mother, knowing that his mother had only visited once.

It was Justin who tried to be there at all times. He went home to sleep, usually during the day or the evening. Once Brian fell asleep he would doze off in the chair next to the bed. When Brian was awake, he and Justin talked about everything. They talked about things that they dreamed of doing, and some regrets they had. One conversation that they had would stay in both their memories for the rest of their lives.

...

"I'm sorry, Brian." Justin said quietly one morning while he and Brian sat in the room alone. The doctor's had already visited Brian so Justin was sure they would have some time to themselves. Justin's words startled Brian, and he looked up.

"What do you have to be sorry for?" Brian reached out and took Justin's hand.

"The accident." Justin said sadly. "If I hadn't have accused you of all those things, you wouldn't have left. You wouldn't have been driving the way you were."

"Justin, you didn't accuse me of anything I didn't do." Brian said softly. "I was upset with myself, not with you. I should have known better than to drive when I was like that." Justin looked up into his eyes and knew he was sincere. 

"What happens now?" Justin asked just barely above a whisper.

"I'd like it if you'd move back into the loft." Brian replied like it was the most natural thing in the world, like none of the things that had happened between them in the past months had happened. It was his eyes that gave way his vulnerability. Those beautiful hazel orbs were truly the window to Brian's soul. He looked scared that Justin would say no.

"Yes." Justin said with a smile. "Definitely."

"Good." Brian's eyes cleared and he looked at Justin adoringly. "Thank you, Justin." He leaned over and kissed Justin softly, but with more passion than any other kiss they had shared.

"For saying yes?" Justin was confused.

"No. For being here. Ever since they first day I met you, you were here with me when I needed you. When my son was born, you were there. You saved me from losing my job," Brian saw the shocked look on Justin's face, "Yes, I know about that. You helped me through all the hard times. And when I probably didn't deserve it, you loved me."

Justin, who was shocked by Brian's outpouring of emotion, wiped a tear from his cheek. He listened as Brian continued. "I want you to know that no matter what happens now, I love you more than anything and I want you in my life."

"Brian..." Justin wiped away more tears that were falling from his eyes as he, as gently as possible, pulled Brian into an embrace. "I love you too." Justin knew how much it had taken for Brian to say that, but he also knew that the realization that he wasn't invincible had urged him to say things that he should have said before. 

...

"I want my silk robe." Brian said as Michael helped him onto the couch. "That polyester shit they made me wear at the hospital did bad things to my skin. Justin, will you get it for me?" 

"Sure." Justin said with a smile. He had been prepared to be helping Brian with a lot of things that he would normally have done himself. He went into the bedroom and saw a small gold box sitting on the bed. When he picked it up he saw his name on it. He slipped it into his pocket, wanting to wait until Michael left to open it, and he grabbed the robe and took it to Brian.

"Thanks, babe." Brian turned his head up for a kiss before slowly starting to undress. Michael looked at the couple and knew that they would want to be alone.

"Alright, guys, I'm going to get going." Michael said. "If you need anything, call. And I'll be by later." Michael kissed both Brian and Justin on the cheek and left the apartment. Ever since the accident, he had really come to see what the couple meant to each other and had become much more accepting of it.

"Bye, Mikey!" Brian called. "I'd walk you out, but I'm an invalid. At least for a couple of weeks." He sat down on the couch after pulling his robe on.

Justin walked Michael to the door. "See ya, Michael." He said. "And thanks."

"No problem. See ya." Michael walked out the door and into the elevator. He was actually really happy for Brian, Justin was really good for him. He was there to take care of Brian when he really needed it, but he also knew when to tell him to shut up and stop whining. Michael smiled. "Yup, Brian's finally found the one."

Inside the loft, Brian and Justin were settling in to watch one of the million DVD's they had rented. Brian made a list of ones he wanted to see and Justin went to Blockbuster and rented them. Brian knew he only had the strength to work half days and would go stir crazy with nothing to do around the loft, so when Justin suggested the list, he was all for it.

"What do you want to watch?" Justin asked. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor with the pile of DVD's in front of him. Brian thought for a moment before making his decision.

"Moulin Rouge." Brian said. Even though he had seen the movie a thousand times, the sets and the presentation of it set his advertisers heart a flutter. Justin grinned. He knew that Brian also thought that Ewan McGregor was hot. Justin slipped the DVD in and climbed onto the couch giving Brian a place to lay his head. Justin loved when Brian laid in his lap, he could play with his hair all he wanted. Brian seemed to love when Justin did that, he practically purred.

"Why do you love this movie so much?" Justin asked.

"It's incredible. Look at the sets, and the colors!" Brian exclaimed, and that was all true. However, he gave himself away when he said, "Are you sure Ewan McGregor is straight?"

Justin simply laughed as the movie began. The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return, the character Christian wrote. Brian and Justin both knew that it was true. Brian snuggled in a little closer and Justin knew that things were going to be different from here on in. He completely forgot about the small box in the pocket of his cargo pants. 

 

 

"Gus missed his daddy's place." Lindsay said the next morning over coffee. Gus was running around the loft excited with every sight. "Did daddy miss it?"

"It's good to be home." Brian confirmed. "And it's good to have Justin around." He smiled, thinking of his golden boy. Justin had left when Lindsay arrived to go get some groceries. Brian wouldn't be going back to work for the rest of the week, so Justin had taken the week off work to stay with him.

"He's happy that he's around." Lindsay said. She saw Brian smile slightly. She also knew that he had changed after the accident, and that things were going to change with Justin now.

"I know." Brian replied. He took a sip of his grape juice, which was almost the only thing he was allowed to drink for the next month.. He knew that there was no hiding his feelings from Lindsay, she was alright right on when it came to knowing what he was thinking and feeling.

"Have you told him?" She asked, confident that she wouldn't have to explain what she was asking. Brian looked at her with a big grin on his face and nodded.

"Right when I woke up." He nodded. "I didn't plan on wasting any more time." Lindsay smiled. She was proud of the person Brian was becoming. He was still the Brian Kinney she knew and loved from college, but he was also a new improved Brian.

"I'm proud of you, Brian." She said. By the look that appeared on Brian's face she realized that being told that his actions made someone else proud still bothered him. "You've got a hard road ahead of you." She changed the subject.

"He'll be with me, that's all that matters." Brian shrugged. Lindsay walked around the counter and hugged him gently. 

"I'm glad you're ok." She whispered close to his ear.

"Look at it this way," Brian said sarcastically, "You and Mel almost had a million dollars."

"Don't say that, Brian." Lindsay looked horrified. "We'd much rather Gus had a father, than a million dollars." Brian knew that was she was saying was true, he and Mel had even begun to bond a little bit while he was in the hospital.

Brian looked over at his son. "Hey, Linds, I gotta get a new Jeep. Wanna come shopping with me?" Lindsay was about to agree when she remembered their last adventure at a car dealership.

"No, thanks." Lindsay said. "Maybe you should take Justin this time."

"Good plan." Brian said with a sly smile. He had been planning to take Justin anyways, he wanted to get a special gift for Justin as well. "Oh shit." Brian stood and walked over to the bedroom. "Linds, did you remember to drop off the box?"

"Of course." Lindsay said. "An hour before you got home." Brian had asked her to drop off the little gold box that held the gift for Justin that he had picked out online while he was in the hospital. He saw the cargo pants that Justin had been wearing the night before thrown over a chair in the bedroom. He walked over and checked the pockets. Sure enough, inside one was the box.

"Little shit put it in his pocket and didn't open it." Brian growled. He had wanted his first night at home to be special, the gift was a very important part of that.

"Did you two get a little preoccupied last night?" Lindsay asked with a raised eyebrow. Brian thought back and remembered that they had both fallen asleep watching Moulin Rouge and had transferred themselves to the bedroom long after the DVD player had turned itself off.

"We fell asleep watching Moulin Rouge." Brian put his hand on his forehead as he ambled back to the kitchen. Lindsay laughed.

"You watched that again?" She asked. She knew that Brian was practically obsessed with that movie and had been ever since it's theatrical release.

"It's a good movie. It appeals to me as an advertiser." Brian said matter of factly. 

"It has nothing to do with Ewan McGregor?" She laughed when she saw the look of guilt on Brian's face. At hearing her laugh, he tried to glare at her but ended up laughing along with her.

"Guilty as charged." He said with a grin.

 

 

"I brought these for you." Jennifer Taylor said stepping into the loft, along with her nephew. She had several bags containing casserole dishes and Tupperware containers. She knew that Brian would be house ridden for a while and figured she would do her part and bring over easy to heat-up meals for him and Justin.

"Thanks, mom." Justin took the bags from her and took them to the kitchen. Brian gestured for Jennifer and Ty to join her in the living room. They both sat down in the chairs across from Brian, who was lying in the most comfortable position for him on the couch.

"Thanks, Jenn. I was afraid we were going to have to find somewhere that would send out bland take-out since all the places I like only make spicy things." Brian said with a chuckle. 

"A girlfriend of mine fell off her horse once and hurt her spleen. I remembered what kinds of things she could so that's what I made." Jennifer and Brian had developed a more friendly relationship than they once had.

"You're an angel, mom. I was wracking my brains trying to figure out what to cook." Justin sat down with Brian, who naturally rested his head in Justin's lap.

"So I guess you won't be staying at my place anymore, eh, cuz?" Ty asked. Justin nodded. "This is actually a good thing. I decided that now that I have enough money, I'm gunna hop on a bus and book it to L.A. Try and get some modeling or acting work."

Brian fought the urge to wish Ty good riddance. He was still a little sore on the subject of Ty, who he was convinced had kept Justin away from him for so long, but didn't want to insult a member of Justin's family. He saved that for Craig Taylor.

"Good for you, Ty!" Justin said with a smile. He knew that Brian didn't like his cousin and was glad that it wasn't going to be a problem anymore.

"Once I'm rich and famous, you two should come visit me." Ty said. He was happy that Justin was back together with Brian. He could see the change.

"Definitely." Justin agreed. He wanted to see the world, and LA was as good a place as any to start. He was confident that Ty would find something that interested him out there.

"If you want commercial's or something, I could drop in a good word with some agencies out there." Brian found himself offering.

"Dude!" Ty exclaimed. "That would be on the level!" Brian's hatred for Ty was slowly diminishing. Perhaps it was because he was so outwardly happy that Brian and Justin were together. "I'm leaving in a few days, so I'd better get cracking." Ty stood. "I'll stop by before I take off." He promised.

"Well, I guess that's my cue." Jennifer stood as well. "If you two need anything, give me a call." She hugged her son and then leaned down the gently kiss Brian's cheek. When Justin moved to stand she stopped him. "Don't worry, honey. We know the way out. Besides, you're Brian's pillow." She offered one more smile to the couple before she and Ty made their exit.

"Your mom is nice." Brian said after a few moments of silence. Justin was pleased that Brian and his mother were finally getting along. He was sure that it was, in the most part, because they both saw that it was what Justin needed, but it made him happy all the same.

"You're nice." Justin reached out and started drawing circles on Brian's stomach with his fingertips. Brian closed his eyes and relaxed. Feeling Justin's hands on his body was a very calming force these days.

"Can we go out tomorrow? I know I can't work until next week, but I wanna go buy a new Jeep." Brian said. He sounded a little bit whiny and Justin loved it. He knew that he was in control of Brian's recovery.

"Yeah. Do you think Lindsay would drive us?" Justin was taken aback when Brian roared with laughter. "What was that for?"

"Linds is scared to go car shopping with me. But she might say yes if you ask her." Brian tried to calm his laughter.

"I will." Justin said. He sat back and enjoyed the closeness with Brian. Suddenly, Brian shifted and turned to look at Justin.

"What happened to the little gold box that was on the bed when we came home from the hospital?" He asked suddenly.

"Oh, I put it in my pocket. I wanted to open it without Michael here. I must have forgotten. I'll get it." Justin was speaking quickly, thinking that Brian was angry.

"No need." Brian pulled the box out from under one of the cushions on the couch. Justin smiled. "I found it in your pants when I remembered that it had been on the bed."

"It's for me?" Brian nodded. "Should I open it now?"

"I think it's safe." Brian playfully looked all around the room. "I'm pretty sure Mikey isn't here." Justin laughed and snatched the gift from Brian's fingers. He started pulling the paper off it like a child at Christmas. Under the paper was what looked like a watch box. Justin looked up and Brian questioningly before opening the box. He gasped when he saw what was inside. It was beautiful.

"It's a wisdom bracelet. There's wisdom written on one side and then the symbol for wisdom on the other. You pull the cords to make it fit." Brian saw the tears glistening in Justin's eyes and was sure that he had picked the right gift. When he had seen the bracelet on the Me & Ro Jewelry website, he knew that he had to buy it for Justin.

"Brian, you didn't have to do this." Justin said. He was nearly crying because it was the most incredible gift he had ever received. 

"I wanted to." Brian replied. He reached up to help Justin put his bracelet on and then kissed him sweetly. "I've never really given you anything before, like a gift I mean, and I wanted to get you something special. I thought a wisdom bracelet would be perfect for you since you know so much more than most 19 year olds."

"I love it, Brian." Justin hugged him. "And I love you." Brian squeezed Justin a little tighter. He didn't have to say the words, he knew that Justin knew that he loved him too.

 

 

"What do you think of that one?" Brian pointed to a hot looking little Chrysler Sebring Coupe. Justin was a little surprised that Brian would be looking at cars when there was a black Jeep wrangler, just like his last two, right in the showroom.

 

"It's really nice." Justin said. He looked inside and thought that one day, this was the kind of car he would want to drive. It would be perfect for him. It was small, cute, sporty, and would be a blast to drive. "But I thought you wanted another Jeep."

"I do." Brian said with a sneaky smile. "That one would be for you." Brian's smile grew as he saw the realization of what he was saying come to Justin's face.

"Brian, you know I can't afford a car!" Justin said. He didn't want to assume that Brian wanted to buy him a car in case he was wrong. 

"I know you can't afford a car. But I can." Brian grinned. "And I want to buy it for you. I'll need someone to cart me around while I'm and invalid. And there's no way you're getting behind the wheel of my Jeep. It's the purrrrfect solution."

"Brian, I--" Justin wasn't really sure what to say. He knew, by the look on Brian's face, that he really wanted him to accept his gift. "You just gave me the bracelet."

"Want the truth?" Brian said quietly. "I want you to be safe." Justin knew what it had taken for Brian to admit that so he smiled and nodded his head. They decided to take both the Sebring and the Jeep out for test drives. The car dealer they were working with, who was very friendly and not at all pushy, was very happy when Brian said he'd take one of each.

"One of each?" The man said with surprise. "You mean one Wrangler and one Sebring Coupe?" Brian nodded. The man's eyes widened but he began working on the paperwork. Half an hour later, when he handed them each a set of keys, he beamed. "I just want you guys to know that thanks to your commission I can take my wife away for our anniversary."

"Oh!" Justin was friendly towards the man, as usual. "How long have you been married?"

"Ten years next month." The man beamed. "How long have you two been together?"

"Two years." Brian said with a smile. He was surprised that, even after he got the sale, the salesman was so nice. 

"That's wonderful." The man said. "Now if there's any problem with either of the vehicles, you just call me." He handed Brian his card and waved as he walked back inside.

"Meet you at home?" Brian asked before climbing into his Jeep.

"Race ya!" Justin challenged.

"Drive responsibly or I will take your car back!" Brian warned playfully. They went back to the loft and parked their respective vehicles outside. "I beat you!" Brian said. He wasn't feeling very good and was sure that he shouldn't have driven himself home.

"When we get inside, you are going straight to bed." Justin said firmly, seeing the pain in Justin's eyes. He had been too excited about his new car and had forgotten about Brian's injuries. Brian still had a lot of pain when he moved around too much, and Justin could tell that the shopping trip had taken it's toll.

"Yes, mommy." Brian teased. He really was feeling the pain and wanted to go directly to bed. Justin helped him inside and he did just that. He didn't know what he would do if Justin wasn't around.

 

 

... Three Months Later...

 

Brian and Justin strolled down Liberty Avenue together on Saturday afternoon. They were planning to stop at the market for groceries and maybe browse around some stores. For the last month, since Brian had stopped feeling the pain as much when he was walking around a lot, the pair had spent every afternoon walking down Liberty talking and holding hands. Usually, they would meet Lindsay and Gus at the diner for lunch. 

"I have something to tell you, Justin." Brian said as they hopped into the Jeep to head back to the loft. Justin didn't like hearing the words that Brian had just spoken because they were usually followed by a silent "please don't be mad".

"What's up?" Justin asked trying to sound like he wasn't terrified about what Brian had to tell him. Brian looked over at his lover and smiled.

"I'm thinking of selling the loft." He said. Justin was more than a little surprised. He was even more surprised when he noticed that they weren't driving anywhere near the loft, they were headed towards the area that Lindsay and Melanie lived in.

"Selling the loft and buying an RV to travel the country?" Justin asked playfully, even though he was dying to know the rest of the story. Brian laughed out loud.

"No." Brian said. "I was thinking that even though I have a great job, it's going to be pretty hard to afford the loft and...." Brian pulled over to the side of the road, "this house that I bought for us." He turned to look at the house on the drivers side of the car. It was big old house, the kind that Justin had always wanted. It was in beautiful shape and Justin was in love with it at first sight.

"You bought this house?" Justin asked in shock. "Bought it? Purchased it? You own it?"

"Well, we don't take possession for a couple of months, but yes, we own it." Brian said with a beaming smile. "I saw your dream house drawing on the table in the loft. I thought this was pretty close. It was time to get rid of the loft anyways, while I can still get a big dollar for it. Your mom is my realtor."

"Oh, Brian!" Justin exclaimed and threw his arms around Brian and nearly sang with happiness. "One more thing though, Brian. NO MORE PRESENTS!" In the last few months, Brian had flowers delivered to the loft once a week, and was always bringing home some little nick knack for Justin.

"Sweetheart, I bought you a house. The only gift I have left to give is me." Brian batted his eyes lashes and Justin hugged him close. 

"That's the best gift of all." He exclaimed. "Now let's get back to the loft and get as much action in that place as we can in the next couple of months."

"I like the way you think." Brian said. He quickly turned the Jeep around and started towards Tremont. While they were stopped at a light both of them started laughing. There, on the side of a bus in a Calvin Klein underwear ad, was TY. "Looks like we'll be heading out to Los Angeles on our next vacation." He said still laughing.

"Yeah, looks like it!" Justin agreed. He turned and smiled at his lover. They had been through so much. Now, he was pretty sure things were looking up.


	6. Chapter 6

"Brian!" Justin called as he hurried through the house. "Hurry up! People are going to be arriving any minute!" Justin was running around the house making sure everything was set for his and Brian's first big party in their house. Over the last year, since they had moved in, they had been working at renovating and decorating. Now that that house was all finished, they had decided to throw an official house-warming party. 

Brian leisurely walked down the front stairs looking perfect. Justin was almost in awe. He still couldn't believe sometimes that Brian was his. Living together had proved to be a challenge at first, especially in the first stages of the renovation, but they got through it and were certainly closer because of it. 

"How do I look?" Brian asked with a grin. He was wearing a pair of slim fit pinstripe pants and a tight red ribbed sweater. Justin loved when Brian wore red; he looked wonderfully wicked in the color.

"Perfect, as usual." Justin reached up and swiftly kissed his lover. "How about me?" Justin certainly had no reason to be worried about his soft beige wool pants and white sweater. He and Brian could have both been in the pages of GQ.

"Delicious." Brian said as he took a nibble at Justin's neck. "Let's turn off the lights and lock the door." He pulled Justin against him tight. "We can have a party for two... in our bedroom."

"Brian!" Justin giggled. He pushed his lover away and busied himself with preparations for the party. Brian crossed his arms across his chest and leaned against the wall.

"Justin, you're a perfect housewife, but you no fun." He pouted. "It would be such a Brian Kinney thing to do to cancel his own party at the last minute so he could have wild passionate sex." Brian had taken to referring to himself in the third person and talking about his old wicked ways. These days he still indulged in as much sex as he ever had, but only with Justin.

"Well, it's a good thing he's not here." Justin said with a grin. "Besides, my boss is coming tonight. I want to make a good impression." Justin had recently started working for a greeting card company designing cards. He loved it and intended to stay there for a while.

"Don't worry, darling." Brian drawled. "Ryder's going to be here too. Now that I'm gunning for the management position, I need to make a good impression too."

"Are we going to at least know everyone at this party?" Justin asked. In the last month they were living at the loft they threw two “farewell to the loft” parties and knew almost no one at either party. 

"I sure as hell hope so." Brian replied. "We'll kick out anyone we don't know. Wouldn't want our perfect house to get trashed." The doorbell rang. Brian quickly kissed Justin before walking back into the foyer to answer the door.

On the porch stood Lindsay and Melanie, who only had three blocks to walk from their own house to get there. They had left Gus with Lindsay's mother for the evening, needing desperately to have an adult's evening out. They were both dressed to the nines simply because it was a rare occasion that they could.

"Hi, Brian." They both said as they hugged him and stepped into the house. Brian complimented them on their outfits and offered them each a drink. 

"It looks incredible, Bri." Lindsay said as she looked around at the finished house. She had seen it in it's various stages, but was only just seeing the finished product. "Even more glamorous than the loft." And she was right. Even though it was a big old house, they had refinished and refurnished everything. It was contemporary and polished, just like it's owners.

"And we didn't kill each other either." Brian thought that was the most amazing part. He had to admit, of course, that he was thrilled with the result of the months and months of renovations. He and Justin had each camped out on "the munchers" couch many a time after an argument. "I think that's the greatest feat."

"You guys need to put a doghouse in the backyard." Melanie said. "Then you won't ever need our couch." Melanie was actually really happy about Brian and Justin's move to the neighborhood. They even, with Lindsay's help, modeled the perfect bedroom for Gus. Melanie was relieved that Brian was turning into a really good father.

"Hi, Linds." Justin said as he walked into the room and kissed her on the cheek. "Mel." He greeted also offering her a kiss. "I'm so glad you guys got here first. I need a woman's opinion on the food and stuff." Justin was really nervous about impressing his boss. As Lindsay and Melanie, who loved being needed, followed Justin into the kitchen, Brian thought back to the day that Justin got hired. 

It had been about three months ago. Justin had been looking for a job for just over a month and everything was coming up dry. Either they didn't need someone with his style, or he was sure he would be bored to death doing what they would hire him to do. When he heard about the greeting card job, he was thrilled. It was a company that made comedy cards. The writers would give Justin a punch line and a concept and he would illustrate and color it. 

When they offered him the job, Brian and Justin spent three days in bed together celebrating. On the fourth day, Brian had taken him shopping for a celebratory new wardrobe that Justin absolutely fell in love with. Now that he had a job, he could actually say that he was a responsible working adult. He and his lover owned a house, they both had good jobs, and they were in a serious relationship.

Brian was happy that Justin had a job that he loved. He had his own office with a drawing table and every kind of pencil, felt pen, and pencil crayon he would want. He also had a computer equipped with the best graphic software on the market. The thing, however, that Brian was happiest about was that Justin's boss, Rick, was fully aware of Justin's lifestyle and had no problems with it whatsoever.

The doorbell ringing roused Brian from his thoughts. When he opened the door he found a mix of people. Marty Ryder was standing there with his wife holding a bottle of red wine. Michael, Emmett, and Ted were there smiling And Rick was standing there with his wife as well.

"Hello, all." Brian smiled. "Come on in." He ushered everyone in just as Justin returned to the foyer. He smiled seeing his boss there. 

"Hi!" Justin said as he received a hug from Emmett. "Come in! Let me take your coats."

More and more people arrived at the party, and soon the entire living room, dining room, and kitchen were filled. When Jennifer Taylor arrived, Brian swept her up in a hug. After all the time that she didn't like him she was now, like most women, caught up in Brian's charm.

"Hi, Mom." Justin hugged her as well and kissed her cheek. She looked around the house and her eyes widened. She had been the one to sell Brian's loft for him and had taken a wonderful commission.

"If you guys ever want to sell, let me know. The house looks incredible." Jennifer said. Brian laughed as he led her into the bar to get her a drink.

"Well, Jenn, I have a feeling we're going to be staying here for a while, especially after the hell we went through to get the house perfect." He gestured to the bar to ask what she wanted to drink. She saw the blender full of frozen margarita's and a smile grew on her face.

"Did Justin make those?" She asked. She knew, from attending the last two parties at the loft, that her son made wonderful margaritas.

"Of course." Brian said with a grin. 

"I will definitely love one of those." She said. She saw Justin leading Rick over to them. She had heard all about Justin's new job and was really excited to meet his boss.

"Mom, I'd like you to meet Rick Dawson." Justin said. "My boss. Rick, this is my mom, Jennifer Taylor." Justin beamed with pride. He was thrilled that his boss was having a good time. Rick and his wife both loved the house and Brian had them both enthralled with his charm.

"It's very nice to meet you, Mr. Dawson." Jennifer said as she offered her hand. Rick gently kissed her hand. He was as much of a charmer as Brian.

"And you, Mrs. Taylor. Why don't you grab your drink and I'll introduce you to my wife." Rick led Jennifer away. Justin knew that they were looking to buy a house and was hoping that Jennifer could charm them into using her as their agent.

"This is so wonderful, Brian." Justin said. He looked around and saw so many people who had affected their lives. Debbie and Vic were standing near the fire place drinking margaritas and chatting up everyone that walked by. Marty Ryder and his wife were chatting with Cynthia and Michael. Emmett was dancing with one of Justin's friends from college.

"It was all you, baby." Brian leaned over and kissed his lover. He was happier than he had ever been being there, in his home, with his lover, celebrating the biggest step they had taken in their lives. 

"Can I tell you something?" Justin asked. Brian smiled and nodded. "I can't wait until it's over. I just want to lay in front of the fire with you and enjoy our home."

"Mmmm... Me too, baby." Brian leaned down and kissed Justin once more. This time people had been watching and they started clapping. Brian took a deep bow while Justin laughed and blushed a little. 

"Ever the showman." Justin said. "Let's circulate." They clasped hands and walked through the room chatting with their guests. Everyone who was there could see that Brian and Justin were truly in love, and that they were going to be happy together.

Three hours later, Justin got his wish as they said good night to the last few people at the party. After the closed and locked the door, Brian poured them each a glass of red wine and they sat down together in front of the fire. Brian reached over and put his hand on Justin's cheek.

"I love you, baby." He said breathlessly. It still surprised him how sometimes looking at Justin took his breath away. Justin smiled his Sunshine smile and laid his head on Brian's shoulder.

"Can you believe we just had our housewarming party in our very own home?" Justin asked. He was so happy to be with Brian that he couldn't imagine things between them ever not being right.

"I never thought I would be here." Brian admitted. "But I'm really glad I am. You're the most amazing person I've ever met."

"I love you."

"I love you, too." Brian put his glass down and took Justin's from his hand. "Ever made love by the fire?" He asked. He knew that Justin's loved when he said "make love".

"Not yet." Justin knew what was coming and immediately got excited. Brian pushed him gently back onto the floor. He leaned down and pressed a sweet kiss to Justin's lips. When Justin reached down and touched him between his legs, he pushed his hand away.

"Slow, baby. I want to go slow tonight." Brian ran his fingers through Justin's hair and started pressing feather light kisses all over his face. Justin was in heaven.

 

 

"Good morning, Brian." Marty said when he walked into Brian's office on Monday morning. Brian looked up and smiled. He was in an amazing mood after spending the weekend with Justin and Gus.

"Morning, Marty." He said. "What's up?" Marty took a seat across from Brian.

"Well, there are two things. Before we get down to business, Sheila would like to invite you and Justin to our place for dinner on Saturday. After we left your party, she was inspired to throw one of her own. She decided to have a good old-fashioned dinner party. She told me to threaten to fire you if you didn't attend." Marty smiled. Brian was surprised at the invitation.

"I'll talk to Justin, but I'm pretty sure we can make it." Brian said. He still felt a little strange being invited to social functions as a couple, but it filled him with a little bit of a thrill. He knew that he couldn't have a relationship with anyone else and feel the way he did with Justin. 

"Great. Now, down to business. We have someone from Luscious Beauty Company coming in on Wednesday. They saw your wrinkle cream ad and decided that they want you. This would be a major, national account." Marty told Brian. 

"What are you telling me, Marty?" Brian sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. Marty leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees.

"If you land this account, the board will be thrilled. They'll take that into account when deciding you to promote to that managerial position." Ryder said. "I've already recommended you myself."

"I'll get the account, Marty." Brian said with a smile. "You don't have to worry about that." He loved to think of himself in a big corner office with an amazing view. He wouldn't have to work the kind of hours he worked in his current position. He liked the idea of being able to spend more time with Justin. He had been thinking of asking Justin for something, something that he wasn't sure Justin was ready for. 

"Good." Marty stood and said a quiet "good day" before exiting the office. Brian sat back in his chair and thought about how to ask Justin if he wanted the marriage and the family.

 

 

"Hey, honey." Emmett said as he slipped into the booth at the diner next to Justin. The guys were all meeting there for a little nourishment before heading for a night of dancing at Babylon. Before Emmett had arrived, Justin had been the only one there. Brian was working late.

"Hi, Em." Justin smiled. "How's it going?"

"Still recovering from your party." Emmett made a dramatic gesture with his hands. "Those margarita's that you make are murder. I think I even saw your mother stumbling."

Justin smiled wickedly. "Well, a party at the Kinney-Taylor place isn't the same without Justin's magical margarita's." Emmett laughed. Moments later, Michael, Brian, and Ted walked into the diner together having ran into each other outside. Brian had his arm around Michael and Justin felt an unwelcome jealousy that he hadn't felt in a very long time.

"Get out of my spot, Emmett." Brian said. As soon as Emmett was up, Brian slid into the booth next to Justin and pressed a kiss to his neck. "Mmmm, yummy." He licked his lips.

"Keep it in your own home, you too." Michael said with a sneer. Justin couldn't help but feel a little stab of jealousy again. He knew that Michael would always be Brian's best friend, and that was okay with him. He wasn't sure why he was feeling jealous today.

"Actually, Hon, I'm not feeling too well. I'm going to head home." Justin put an hand on Brian's leg. "But I'll see you when you get home." Brian was a little bit taken aback by Justin's words. He knew that Justin had been excited about going out tonight and couldn't understand what would be getting to him.

"I'll come with you." Brian found himself saying. He had been looking forward to seeing Justin all day. When Justin shook his head, he felt his heart fall.

"No. You go out and have a good time." Justin put on his best fake smile. "I'll be fine for one night by myself. I have some stuff to work on anyways."

"Ok. Well, I won't be out too late." Brian said. He found himself a little angry with Justin for not wanting to spend time with him and couldn't understand what had happened. Everything had been so perfect on the weekend. Justin touched Brian's leg to signal him to get out of the booth and let him leave. Brian grudgingly did so.

"Bye everyone." Justin said. "Bye, love." He kissed Brian, but without much passion and grabbed his car keys off the table. "Later." He flipped over his shoulder before leaving the diner. He felt like there was a weight on his chest and couldn't figure out where this newfound jealously towards Mikey had come from, or why it was so strong.

"What's wrong with him?" Michael asked as he took Justin's place in the booth. He had no sympathy in his voice and it made Brian even angrier.

"He's not feeling well." He spat, but he didn't believe it himself. He was wracked with emotion and couldn't figure out what was wrong. 

 

 

"Justin, what's wrong?" Daphne's voice floated into his ears. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to call her long distance but he had.

"Today at the diner, Brian had his arm around Michael and I freaked." Justin put his hand on his forehead knowing how ridiculous he sounded. "I mean, shit, nothing is ever going to happen with those two. Brian and I are serious now. What the hell am I doing, Daph?"

"Do you think there might be something going on? Brian always puts his arm around Michael." Daphne wasn't sure what to say, but she knew her best friend was really upset.

"I can't remember noticing him do it at all in the last year. I mean, I know they're best friends and all, but I thought the touchy feely stuff had stopped. I feel kind of betrayed." Justin sighed. He was being a drama queen.

"You should talk to him Justin." She said. "That's the only way anything is going to get fixed. The only way you're going to feel better."

"You're right." Justin said. "He should be home soon. He said he wouldn't be late. We can talk when he gets home." He smiled a little. "Thanks, Daph."

"Hey, that's what I'm here for. Now I really should go. Jeff is here." Daphne sort of whispered the last part. Justin could tell she was excited. He let her go and stayed sitting on the chair in the living room. He had resolved to wait for Brian and tell him how he was feeling.

..Three and a half hours later...

Justin rolled over and looked at the clock. He had closed his eyes while he was waiting for Brian. It was now three in the morning. He gasped. He ran to the window and looked outside, Brian's Jeep was nowhere to be seen. He ran upstairs to see if one of the guys had brought him home, but Brian wasn't in their bed either.

"Fuck." Justin whispered. A picture flashed in his mind of Brian in the back room at Babylon getting a blowjob from some gorgeous guy. He took a deep breath before undressing and climbing into bed. He lay awake for nearly an hour waiting for Brian before fatigue won the battle and his eyes closed. He fell asleep.

 

 

"Mikey, what if he hates me now?" Brian babbled drunkly. He had been pounding the Scotch all night. Michael had, as always, watched with concern as Brian got drunker and drunker. He had gone to the backroom three times and Michael was really concerned.

"Brian, let me take you home." Michael said as he supported Brian while they walked to the Jeep. Brian shook his head and nearly fell over.

"I smell like sex. I can't sleep in our bed when I smell like sex." Brian said. "Let me stay at your house." Michael solemnly agreed. He got Brian settled on the bed before laying down next to him and wondering what was wrong.

He had seen how Justin had acted at the diner. It was obvious that his choice to go home, alone, had really gotten to Brian. Michael hadn't seen him like this since the night at Woody's after Justin's bashing. He was off his ass.

He considered calling Justin to tell him that Brian was staying at his place, but was pretty sure that he didn't want to put himself anywhere near the situation.

 

 

"Jesus!" Brian exclaimed the next morning as he sprung from Michael's bed. "What fucking time is it?" He started grabbing his clothes and tried to get his bearings before he drove back to the house.

"Seven-thirty." Michael grumbled half asleep. 

"Shit, I am going to be spending a month on Lindsay and Melanie's couch." Brian said. He tried to remember the events of the previous night, but the last thing he remembered clearly was Justin leaving the diner, seeming upset.

"Boy Wonder will forgive you." Michael finally dragged himself out of bed to rush Brian out the door. He knew that Brian would, indeed, have a lot of explaining to do.

As Brian drove back to the house, he was a mess. He knew that Justin was going to be furious and he wasn't sure how he was going to explain, because he didn't know what happened. He started searching his memory for what had happened. Suddenly he remembered that he had gotten three blowjobs in the backroom.

"Fuck! I'm dead." He said to himself. When he pulled up to the house, he didn't see Justin's car. "Oh shit." All he could think was that Justin had left him, that he had fucked up more than ever and he had lost Justin for good.

He ran into the house and, sure enough, Justin wasn't anywhere to be found. Stuck to the fridge was a note. "B. Gone to work. Working late. Don't know when I'll be home. J." Brian sat down at the table. Normally, Justin signed notes "My love. J." He was obviously very angry, or very hurt. The latter was what scared Brian the most. He knew what he had to do.

 

 

"What's the matter, Justin?" Rick asked when Justin walked into his office that morning. "Trouble in Paradise?"

"Brian didn't come home last night." He said sadly. The shortness of his tone when he answered signaled to Rick that he didn't want to talk about it. He pulled out the sketched for the new cards he designed. 

"Mr. Dawson." The receptionist's voice came over the speaker in Rick's office. He confirmed that he was listening and she continued. "Is Mr. Taylor with you? He has a visitor in the lobby."

"I'll send him down, Laurie." Rick said. "If it's him, Justin, demand to know where he was. And with who." Rick patted Justin on the back before sending him out to the lobby. Sure enough, standing there with a bouquet of roses was Brian Kinney.

"Hey." Brian said quietly.

"I was in a meeting, Brian. What the fuck do you want?" Justin demanded impatiently. Brian faltered a little bit. He hadn't realized exactly how much trouble he was in. 

"About last night..." He began. "I had too much to drink, so I crashed at Mikey's place." He handed the bouquet to Justin. "I got these for you." Justin didn't even look at the roses.

"Were you in the backroom?" Justin demanded. Brian, knowing he couldn't lie, nodded. Justin threw the roses on the floor. "Presents can't fix everything, Brian. Leave me the fuck alone. I don't even want to look at you right now." And with that he turned and walked back to his office.

Brian stood there, crestfallen, looking at the roses on the floor. He knew he had really messed up things this time. And this time, he didn't know how to fix it. He had lost Justin's trust, what he didn't know was whether he had lost Justin completely.


	7. Chapter 7

"Is it over?" Jennifer Taylor asked her son. He had shown up at her door with tears in his eyes. When she brought him inside and made him a cup a tea, he told her the entire story about Brian going out and tricking and not coming home. She could see that her son's heart was breaking.

"I don't know." Justin barely whispered the words. He truly didn't know that answer to the question. More than anything, he wanted to go home and hold Brian and make everything go back, but he knew that was impossible. He also knew that Brian was sorry. Otherwise he wouldn't have brought the flowers.

"Go home and talk to him, Justin. If you don't communicate there is no way this is going to work." Jennifer said. She knew first hand what a lack of communication could do to a relationship.

"I don't know what to say to him, Mom. He cheated on me, in the back room at Babylon. " Justin was shaking a little bit. "And I pushed him to it."

"How?" Jennifer couldn't believe what she was hearing. Justin stayed silent for several moments before looking up at his mother.

"I was supposed to go with them. We were all meeting at the diner before heading out. When Brian walked in, he had his arm around Michael. I had this irrational jealous reaction. I left and told Brian to go out without me, even though he wanted to come home and be with me." Justin started sniffling.

"Honey, go home." Jennifer touched her sons arm. "There is so much more to be said." Justin nodded and stood. He pulled his mom into a hug. He wasn't sure how he knew that she would be able to help, but he did. He also knew that she would tell him to be with Brian, he knew she saw how in love they were.

"Bye mom. Thank you." He kissed her cheek before walking out to his car. 

On the way home he tried to figure out what he was going to say. When he pulled into the driveway, Brian's Jeep was sitting there. He was both relieved and terrified. He had no idea what he was going to say. He looked down at the wisdom bracelet that had been adorning his left wrist for over a year. He didn't feel very wise. He climbed out of the car and, taking a deep breath, walked towards the house. 

When he walked in, he saw Brian sitting on the couch in the living room looking troubled. He was sipping on a glass of scotch and smoking a cigarette. When he heard the door open he turned to look at Justin, who could have sworn he saw tears in Brian's eyes.

"Where the fuck were you?" Brian asked quietly. Justin stayed quiet for a moment. "I've been waiting here for hours."

"I worked late and then I went and saw my mom." Justin said. Brian lifted his eyes to look into Justin's. He saw the hurt and fear there. 

"Still don't want to look at me?" Brian asked. Justin walked over to him and knelt on the floor in front of him. He was looking at him the whole time.

"Brian..." Justin wasn't exactly sure what to say. "We need to talk."

"Answer the question, Justin." Brian said firmly.

"I don't know." Justin sat down in a chair across from Brian. They sat in silence for several minutes while each of them thought about what to say. 

"I didn't mean anything." Brian said. That was the only thing he could think of to say. He saw a pained look come to Justin's face. "Justin..."

"It meant something to me!" Justin exclaimed. He stood and started pacing the room. "You went out and for a night you were the old Brian Kinney. You got drunk, you went in the back room, and you crashed with Mikey. Were you in his bed too?"

"Justin..." Brian saw the anger and desperately wanted to soothe it. He had promised himself that he would do anything to ensure that this wasn't the end for them.

"You were! He would have driven you home!" Justin turned to leave the room. The words that came out of Brian's mouth next stopped him dead.

"How could I come back here, and sleep in our bed after what I did?" Brian asked. The sorrow in his voice was almost suffocating for Justin. He kept his back turned but didn't walk away. "I couldn't come back here to you after getting a blowjob at Babylon."

"You shouldn't have gotten a blowjob then." Justin said before walking towards the stairs. "Don't come to our bed tonight either." With that, he disappeared up the stairs and locked the bedroom door.

Brian crumpled to his knees and finally let himself cry. He felt like had been thrown off a cliff. His body ached and his mind reeled. He tried to figure out what he would have to go to make things between himself and Justin okay.

 

 

The next evening Brian, who still hadn't figured out what he could do about Justin, came home to find his lover packing. He felt like Justin was giving up and he got angry. "Where the fuck do you think you're going?" He demanded.

"I'm staying with Emmett for a while." Justin said. "Until I can find my own place." Justin might as well have kicked Brian in the chest because that's what losing him felt like. 

"You're just leaving?" Brian had to sit down on the bed because he knew he'd fall down if he didn't. Justin didn't even look at him, just kept throwing things in the bag. "Answer me, for Christ's sake!"

"Yes. I'm leaving." Justin said simply. His own heart was breaking and he wanted nothing more than to run to Brian and throw his arms around him. He didn't have to. Moments later, Brian walked over to him and fell to his knees at Justin's feet.

"Don't go." He said softly. He wrapped his arms around Justin's waist and let himself beg. He couldn't believe that he, Brian Kinney, needed someone in his life badly enough to beg. "Please."

"What do I have to stay for?" Justin asked. The hurt and anger had been building up inside him for two days and had grown to huge proportions.

"For us." Brian said. "I can't promise you that I'll never slip, but I can promise you that come what may, I'll love you until my dying day." Justin couldn't believe that Brian was quoting a long song. First flowers, then begging, now a love song.

"Brian..." 

"Say yes, Justin." Brian whispered. He kept holding Justin until he felt Justin's hands pull his head even closer. They stayed there, holding each other for long minutes. Brian felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted off him.

"I'm sorry, too." Justin said. He pulled Brian over to the chair in the corner of the room. Brian sat and Justin climbed onto his lap. "I got a little jealous of Michael."

"Why?" Brian asked with genuine concern.

"You had your arm around him. I hadn't seen you do that for a long time. I guess my overactive imagination got me." Justin turned his head. He was ashamed to admit what he had been feeling.

"Baby, you don't have to worry about Mikey. He's my best friend, and he always will be, but you're my lover. My partner. And the most important person in my life." Brian couldn't believe all the sentiments that were coming out of his mouth. 

"Thank you, Brian." Justin threw his arms around Brian's neck and hugged him close. 

"Justin." Brian said hoarsely. "I can't breath."

"Oh, sorry." Justin said sheepishly. He had already forgotten about what Brian had done. He finally felt whole again and he knew that the only way to stay whole was to be with the person that filled him so completely, to be with Brian.

"Baby, let's get you unpacked and then I want you all to myself. In our bed." Brian kissed Justin with all the passion he had inside him. 

 

"So, everything is ok now?" Lindsay asked. She and Brian were walking through a jewelry store, she was looked for a gift for Melanie for their 10 year anniversary.

"Yeah." Brian was casually looking for something for Justin. Justin's birthday was coming up and he wanted to get him something special. In the week since Brian's slip-up at Babylon, he and Justin seemed closer than ever.

"I'm glad." Lindsay said genuinely. "You're a better man because of him." Brian shot her a look and she giggled. "It's true and you know it."

"How about this for Mel?" Brian pointed a gorgeous antique pearl ring. He thought it would look nice on Melanie's small fingers.

"Oh, Brian. It's perfect!" Lindsay exclaimed. "Take Gus for a second." She put Gus's hand into Brian’s and asked to see the ring outside of the display case. After two minutes of staring at the ring she decided to buy it. It was even just the right size for Mel's finger so she wouldn't have to have it sized.

"See, fags are good for something. Fathering children and picking out jewelry." Brian said dryly earning him a slap in the arm. "Can we go? Gus is pulling my arm off trying to get to the shiny things."

"Don't you wanna get Justin a birthday present? It's next week." Lindsay said with her eyebrows raised and her lips pursed.

"I know when his birthday is." He growled. "I just don't know what to get him." 

"I think that whatever you get him will make him happy. You already got him a car and a dream house." Lindsay reminded him.

"There is one thing, but..."

"You don't have to if you're not ready." Lindsay knew that he was talking about the commitment ceremony that she was sure Justin wanted.

"What if he's not ready?" Brian asked. He knew that Justin was the person he wanted to spend his life with, and it was like they were married already. He knew Justin didn't need the ceremony, but for some reason he did.

"He's ready, Bri." Lindsay said. "A couple of weeks ago he said something about wanting children." Hearing those words, Brian had to sit down. Only a week ago he had been afraid he was going to lose the only person he had ever been in love with and now Lindsay was telling him that Justin wanted children.

"Oh god..." Brian took a deep breath. Having Gus was one thing. He lived with his mommies and only came to visit on the weekends, but raising a child of his own scared him to death.

"Not right away." Lindsay tried to soothe Brian. "I was just trying to say that Justin is ready. He may be young, but he knows that you're the one he wants to be with."

"How about that one?" Brian's voice was strangled but he saw a gorgeous platinum band that he thought Justin would love.

"It's beautiful, Bri." Lindsay said. She had tears in her eyes. She was happier for Brian than she had ever been. Peter Pan had finally taken the last step out of Neverland to grow up with his very own Wendy...

 

 

"Come on." Brian rushed Justin. "We have to pick up Gus. Linds and Mel have to be at the GLC in fifteen minutes." Justin hurried to put his shoes on and he and Brian locked up the house and left. They decided to walk, since the distance was so short. 

"Why didn't they drop him off?" Justin asked. He had been working all morning and had lost track of time. "They usually drop him off." He was grumbling. It was his birthday and he and Brian were stuck babysitting. It wasn't that he didn't love Gus but he had been looking forward to spending his 21st birthday with Brian.

"I don't know." Brian said. "It isn't a big deal, we just have to hurry." When they arrived, Lindsay and Melanie were standing on the step with Gus.

"You're late!" Melanie scolded. Brian held his hands up in surrender.

"Blame Blondie over here." Brian said. "He was the one who was working all morning in his studio." Brian lifted his son onto his shoulders as Lindsay and Melanie hurried to the car and drove off down the street.

"Hi, Gus." Justin pinched the boys nose.

"Let's take him to play in the back yard." Brian said. The three of them headed towards the backyard. As they rounded the corner, Justin nearly fainted.

"Surprise!" Everyone yelled. The people who were closest to him were there. Lindsay and Mel had just gotten out of the car in the lane and were standing at the gate smiling. Emmett and Ted were standing next to a table covered in food. Michael stood with Debbie and Vic near the swing set. Justin's mom and his sister Molly were there. Even Rick, his boss, was there.

"What's all this?" Justin asked in shock.

"Happy Birthday, baby." Brian pressed a kiss on Justin's temple and smiled. He wasn't sure Justin was going to buy the babysitting story, but he had. 

"Oh my god." Justin breathed. He then smiled a Sunshine smile and went to say hello and hug everyone. Brian watched as Justin made the rounds and was more sure than ever of his plan.

"Looks like we pulled it off." Lindsay said as she walked up to Brian. "It's a good thing we kept him away from Emmett."

"Yeah." Brian was preoccupied with watching Justin socialize. He had considered inviting more people, but was glad that he had just invited family. With what he planned to do, he only wanted to share it with those who were closest to him.

"Did you give him his present yet?" Lindsay asked. She was excited to hear about Justin's reaction to the matching Platinum thumb rings.

"Nope. Later." Brian said assuredly. Lindsay smiled knowingly and started away to get the cake. She knew that, no matter how old Justin was, that he would want to eat cake and open presents as soon as possible. She was excited to give him the present she and Melanie had decided to give him. It was actually for him and Brian, but she was sure Justin would love it.

"Hiya, Sunshine." Debbie said as Justin walked up and hugged her. "Are you surprised?" Justin smiled. He was happy that all the people who were important to him were there.

"Sure am." Justin said with a grand smile. "I thought I was going to be spending my 21st birthday babysitting Gus."

"Shoulda known better Sunshine." Debbie said. "Linds and Mel would never make you baby-sit on your birthday.” Just then, Brian walked over and put an arm around Justin.

"Cake time, honey." He said. He led Justin over to a chair that Lindsay had painted just for Justin to sit on to blow out the candles and open his gifts. Lindsay appeared with a beautiful cake with 21 candles on it.

"Wow." Justin was still in awe that all these people cared about him enough to throw him this incredible party. 

As everyone ate cake and talked, Brian watched his lover closely. He was terrified about his own surprise that was coming up. He was hoping against all hope that it was going to go just as he wanted.

"Time for presents!" Emmett announced once the cake plates were all thrown out. He handed Justin a flat package. "I hope you like it." Justin was faintly frightened by what the box may hold. On his 20th birthday, Emmett had gotten him a collectors edition Barbie doll.

Justin ripped open the paper and inside found a sketchbook. It had a beautiful leather cover and was bound with leather cord. Justin fanned the pages with his finger and looked at the gift in awe. It was the most beautiful sketch book he had ever seen.

"Oh, Emmett, it's beautiful." He said with soggy eyes. "I can't wait to use it." 

"Well, before you use it, open this." Ted handed Justin a box that was wrapped beautifully. Justin ripped open the paper and found a beautiful set of art supplies. There were different kinds of charcoal and pastels.

"We figured that since you're working all the time you were going to forget to draw for fun. We decided to remind you." After hearing Emmett's explanation, Justin stood and hugged them both. He couldn't wait to put down his memories from this party on paper in his new sketchbook. He had been wanting to do a portrait of everyone in his life and this would be the perfect place to start.

"Open ours next, Sunshine." Debbie handed Justin a box. He pulled the paper off and looked inside. In the box was a gorgeous baby blue sweater that he had been coveting. He figured Brian must have given her a hint.

"I love it, Deb!" Justin exclaimed. "I can't wait to wear it."

"Here you go, Boy Wonder." Michael said. He handed Justin yet another box. When Justin looked inside her smiled widely. It was a collector's edition comic book from Justin's favorite series.

"This is awesome, Michael!" He exclaimed as he flipped through the pages. He remembered mentioning this comic to Michael and couldn't believe Michael had given him such an expensive gift.

"Well, the gift of comics is the gift that keeps on giving." Michael replied humorously.

"It's amazing!" Justin smiled. He saw his mother walking over with a small box and he smiled at her. "I love my birthday." He said happily. 

"This one is something I've been waiting to give you for a long time. I had to wait until your 21st birthday though. I hope you like it." She said. She handed him the box and he hurriedly opened it. When he saw what was inside he nearly burst into tears. There, on a small silk pillow was his Grandfather's gold pocket watch.

"Mom..." He said. "It's wonderful." He pulled her close and held her. "I'm so happy that you gave it to me." She smiled and bit back the tears. When he father had passed away, he left the watch to Justin only to be given to him when he turned 21.

"He wanted you to have it, sweetheart." She said.

Brian stood watching, the gift he was holding in his hand causing him more excitement and unease than he could stand. When Justin looked over at him and smiled, he knew that everything was going to be alright. He started, however, to doubt his decision to give Justin his gift in front of everyone.

"This is for you and Brian to use together." Lindsay said as Melanie handed Justin an envelope. Inside were two tickets for an Alaskan cruise.

"This is awesome, you guys!" Justin jumped up and hugged the two of them. "I can't wait!"

"Well, you can use them as soon as you can book them. They're usable any time in the next year."

"Do you have anything for me?" Justin asked sweetly, batting his eyelashes at Brian. 

"Of course." Brian started walking over to him. Lindsay's mouth dropped open when she realized what Brian was going to do. Brian stood in front of Justin, but addressed everyone. "You all know who I used to be. Brian Kinney, the brass hearted shit that you all loved to hate. Justin knew me then too. And he went through a lot having to deal with my bullshit for the last four years."

Brian stopped and looked at Justin who stared back at him quizzically. Brian continued. "And you all know, that I'm not that guy anymore, as much as I sometimes pretend to be. That's because of Justin. He opened me up and made me want to experience the things that the old Brian Kinney despised." Justin was starting to let the tears flow but wiped them away. "Don't cry, baby."

Justin smiled and try to hide the emotions he was feeling. Brian continued. "So now, in front of everyone who is important in our lives, I want to ask Justin something that I have been dying to ask him for the longest time, but wasn't sure either of were ready for. In the last month, with finishing the renovations to our home, and realizing that he's the only man in the world that I need in my bed, it became clear to me that we've been ready for longer than either of us realized." Brian got down on one knee. "Will you marry me?" He asked quietly. His own emotions were starting to show, but he still held on to one piece of the old Brian Kinney and willed himself not to cry.

Justin's eyes filled with more tears than he could blink back or wipe away and all he could do was nod. Brian opened the ring box but held it from Justin's grasp. "I got us two. They're thumb rings. I don't want either of us to put them on until the ceremony." He requested. When Justin smiled through his tears and nodded, Brian jumped up and swept Justin into a hug. An applause went up in the backyard. 

As everyone celebrated Justin's birthday and his engagement to Brian, Justin wanted nothing more than to go home and make love with Brian. When they got a moment, they slipped into the house to be alone. Brian took Justin's hand.

"I'm glad you said yes." He said. 

"I'm glad you asked me." Justin replied. "I never really thought you would." Brian smiled as he sat down on the couch and pulled Justin onto his lap.

"Well, I've gotta keep you on your toes somehow." Brian replied. He pulled Justin in for a kiss. "I can't wait until this part is over." He nuzzled against his lover's neck. "I can't wait to take you home."

 

 

The coming months were filled with plans for the June 1st ceremony. Brian and Justin picked out their tuxedos. Emmett had designated himself as their fashion coordinator, and Lindsay was helping with all of the plans for the ceremony, which was to be held in Brian and Justin's backyard. As the big day approached, Brian and Justin became closer than ever.

Three days before the ceremony, Brian and Justin discussed the idea of children and decided that in a few years, they would adopt or have a surrogate carry a child for them. Neither of them could have been happier. Emmett and Michael threw them separate bachelor parties at Babylon, and they both enjoyed themselves thoroughly even though they knew it was hardly going to be their last night out with the boys.

 

 

"There's something I have to do." Brian said to Michael the morning of the ceremony. Michael was acting as best man, and he was helping Brian get ready.

"What?" Michael asked. 

"Get in the Jeep. I'll explain on the way." And with that, a mere 45 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to begin, Brian and Michael were off.

 

 

"Where is he?" Justin looked at his watch. All of the guests were sitting in the backyard waiting for the ceremony to begin and Brian hadn't even arrived yet.

"He'll be here." Daphne, Justin's maid of honor, assured him. He fidgeted in the mirror with his white tux while he waited.

"What if he doesn't come, Daph?" Justin asked with fear. He needed so badly for this day to go perfect and was terrified that the ceremony wasn't even going to happen.

"Justin, he'll come. Brian loves you, and he wants this." Justin couldn't help but doubt what Daphne was telling him. Sometimes, he couldn't help but fear that the old Brian Kinney, the one who didn't believe in love and relationships, was going to return and he would be without his lover, the only man he could ever love.

 

 

"Brian, what are you doing here?" Joan Kinney asked. She was surprised to see her son at the door wearing the all black tuxedo.

"Mom, I know you hate that I'm gay and you hate my lifestyle, but couldn’t get married without you being there." Brian couldn't believe his own impetuousness but, for some reason, he needed to have his mother there at his wedding.

"Married?" His mother was confused. "Gay men can't get married."

"We're just taking the vows, Mom." Brian said. "You remember Justin."

"The young man in your life?" Joan couldn't believe what she was hearing. After finding out that her son was gay during the media frenzy following Justin's attack she had been devastated. She began finding out more and more about her sons indiscretions. "After all that's happened..." She didn't know what to say. 

"Please, mom. I'm late for my own wedding, but I need you there with me." Brian reached out and touched her hand. Joanie couldn't help it, after all that had happened, she still loved her son and wanted him to be happy.

"Well, we'd better hurry or you won't have a wedding for me to come to." Joanie hurried upstairs to change. She was still a very proper woman and couldn't attend her son's wedding dressed in her house cleaning clothes. She returned moments later in her church dress. "Let's go."

 

 

"I don't think he's coming." Justin said to Lindsay as he stood waiting to walk down the aisle.. She wrapped an arm around him as she tried to think of something reassuring to say.

"He'll be here, sweetie." Lindsay said. "And when he sees you he will fall in love with you all over again." She loved the idea that Brian was wearing all black and Justin was wearing all white. 

Suddenly, they heard a roar and Justin's Jeep appeared. "He's here!" Justin breathed a sigh of relief as they got ready for the ceremony.

Everyone in the room gasped when they saw Brian walk in with his mother. He smiled at Justin and helped Joanie to her seat before taking her place at the end of the aisle. Justin took the arms of Jennifer and Debbie, who were walking him down the aisle just as the music started.

When it came time to say their vows, everyone was surprised that they had prepared their own. Justin went first. "I remember the first time I met you. I fell in love with who I thought you were. And then when I really got to know you, I fell in love with who you really were, and when you changed, I fell in love with the person you became. Through all this, my love never wavered, only grew and changed. I know that for the rest of my life, though my love will change as you change and I change, it will always be as strong as, or even stronger than, it is today." 

Jennifer, Debbie, and Emmett were all in tears as Justin continued, "So today I promise to love you and be faithful to you as we grow old together, as our family grows, and as our lives grow." Justin could have sworn he even saw Brian brush a tear from his cheek when he was finished.

As it moved on to Brian, two men wheeled in a big white grand piano. Justin was confused, but saw Brian smile. "I never knew how to play piano, but I felt that this was the best way to speak my vows to you. I said what was in my heart in my own words when we got engaged. Now I want to sing to you how I feel." Everyone gasped.

Brain walked over to the piano and sat down. He started to play and Justin recognized the song immediately. "Never knew I could feel like this. Like I've never seen the sky. I want to vanish inside your kiss. Every day I love more and more. Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings . Telling me to give you everything. Seasons may change, winter to spring. But I love you until the end of time. Come what may! Come what may! I will love you until my dying day." Brian stopped and smiled at Justin. "I love you, and I always will."

The man who was performing the ceremony smiled as Brian returned to Justin's side. They exchanged rings, which they both slipped onto their thumbs, and the man presented them to everyone. "Ladies and gentlemen, Brian and Justin Taylor-Kinney."

All the guests stood and clapped as Brian and Justin made their way back down the aisle and into the house where Brian swept Justin up into his arms and kissed him. "We're married baby!" He exclaimed. 

And everything was right...


	8. Chapter 8

"Daddy." Gus said as he sipped at his juice after school. "How come mommy is married to Mama and you are married to Justin?" Brian nearly spit out the water he had just taken a sip of. He had known that Gus would have questions one day, but he had hoped that it would be Lindsay or Melanie that he posed the question to.

"Why do you ask that, Gus?" Brian asked. At seven years old, Gus was just a precocious as Brian had been at that age.

"Well, today at school, Miss Johnson asked us to draw a picture of our family. So I drew mommy and mama and you and Justin." Gus sighed. "And then Selena Marshall told me that you can't have two mommies and two daddies."

"Well, our family is different than other families." Brian said. "What did the teacher say?" Gus put his elbows on the table and rested his chin on them.

"She said that sometimes mommies and daddies decide not to live together and sometimes the mommy marries another man and the daddy marries another lady." Gus continued. "But you married a boy and mommy married a lady."

"Well, our family is different." Brian felt the anger rise inside him at the way the teacher had described it. "Mommy and me were never married. Mommy and Mama love each other so they got married and Justin and I love each other so we got married."

"But how come you don't love mommy like other dads love mommies?" Gus asked. Brian was starting to feel uncomfortable and unsure of how to answer Gus's questions. It was his weekend with Brian and Justin, Lindsay and Melanie had both taken the day off to spend a weekend in New York.

"Gus, sometimes, boys like other boys and girls like other girls. That's just how it is." Brian said. He was relieved when he heard Justin walk in from work. They made a point of being out of work on time on their weekends with Gus.

"Justin!" Gus exclaimed. He and Justin were very close, and Gus was always excited to see him. Gus rushed over to Justin and dragged him to the table. "Do you know why some boys like other boys and some girls like other girls?"

Justin looked at Brian who simply shrugged. "The teacher told me that sometimes mommies and daddies marry other people, but she didn't say that mommies married other mommies and daddies married other daddies."

"Well, Gus, your teach probably doesn't know that you have two mommies who are married and that your daddy is married to me." Justin said. "We can talk to her and tell her ok?"

"Ok, Justin." Gus climbed into Justin's lap. "Can I see your new cartoons?"

"Sure, Gus." Justin smiled and started showing Gus his newest designs. Brian sat at the table and pondered what to do about Gus's teacher. He knew that the teachers all knew about Gus's parental situation and wondered why the teacher wasn't sensitive to that.

***

When Melanie and Lindsay came to pick up Gus on Sunday night, they made sure Gus had a movie to watch in the den while the four of them took some time to talk in the kitchen. Justin made tea for all of them.

"You made sure that the teachers knew that Gus's family situation was different than other kids, right?" Brian asked. 

"Of course." Melanie said. “We don't want any of the teachers to make Gus feel different because of his parent's lifestyles. The principal assured us..."

"The assurance was bullshit. Gus drew a picture of all of us on Friday and someone asked him why he had two daddies and two mommies. The teacher said that sometimes mommy’s marry other men and daddies marry other women. She didn't have anything to say about alternate lifestyles." Brian said angrily. Over the weekend, the more he thought about the situation, the angrier he got.

"Should we schedule a meeting with the teacher?" Lindsay asked. Over the years it had become customary for all four of them to be involved in decisions when it came to Gus. Brian and Justin were well aware that the final say was Lindsay and Melanie’s, but they were glad that they got their say.

"Do you think they'll do anything?" Justin asked. Having gone to a prestigious private high school that refused to acknowledge homosexuality and tolerance concerning it, he was somewhat of a skeptic.

"They had better." Melanie said. She had become nearly as angry as Brian. "We're shelling out big bucks for our son to go to this school."

"Well, we'll stop by the office tomorrow morning when we drop off Gus. Can you both come to a meeting sometime this week?" Lindsay asked. Brian and Justin both nodded their heads yes. "Good. I'll call you and let you know."

"Now, we should get Gus home to bed." Melanie said. 

***

"Do you think they'll do anything?" Justin asked as he and Brian lay in bed that night. "St James still hasn't done anything."

"They had better or we're pulling our son out of there." Brian said vehemently. "I will not let anyone make Gus feel like a freak."

"You're an amazing father to him." Justin snuggled closer to Brian. It had been three years since their wedding and Justin had been thinking about children of their own for some time. "Have you thought about having some of our own?"

Brian raised an eyebrow. He had been thinking about it, but hadn't been aware that Justin had too. "Well, actually yes I have. I think Gus would like a little brother or sister."

"Really?" Justin climbed up and straddled Brian's waist. "You mean…?"

"Yes." Brian said. "Now let's talk about it in the morning." He pulled Justin back down next to him and they cuddled together. "I love you, baby."

"I love you too." Justin closed his eyes and began to envision he and Brian as parents. He thought about making the guest room into a nursery.

***

"Now, please." The principal began. "You have to understand that some parents wouldn't want our teachers explaining alternative lifestyles to their children."

"Well, you have to understand that by not saying anything, you're making it seem abnormal. The other children will react to this and Gus will be an outsider. We only want our son to be an equal." Melanie explained. Both she and Brian were livid about the situation, while Lindsay and Justin kept their cool.

"I don't think, Mr. Koya, that the parents would have a problem with your school teaching them tolerance at a young age." Lindsay said. 

"Ms. Peterson--" The principal was cut off.

"Besides, there are all different types of families and I don't think that there is any reason for the children to be sheltered from one simply because it's different." Lindsay continued calmly. "We are paying to send out son here and would like him to get the same treatment as they other children."

"Please."

"If you aren't going to offer that, we are going to be forced to send our son to another school." Lindsay said. "And I'm afraid we would refrain from sending any of our friends or family members to this school. We chose your school because we were assured that Gus would be treated just like all the other children."

"Ms. Peterson, I assure you that Miss Johnson's actions were in no way meant to make Gus feel isolated." Mr. Koya said. He sounded nervous.

"Well, I'm afraid it did make him feel isolated." Brian said through clenched teeth. "He doesn't understand why his family is different than all the other kids."

"Mr. Kinney, Gus's family will always be different." Miss Johnson, the teacher, reminded him. Brian turned to her and shot daggers from his eyes.

"Miss Johnson, I'm sure you understand how children can be. If they think that Gus is different, and no one tells them that his family is just as normal as theirs, they will most certainly leave him out of certain things." Justin finally spoke. 

"All we ask is that you acknowledge that Gus's family, though it is different, is not abnormal." Lindsay said. "If you'd like, we can take this to the parent council."

"Yes, I think that would be best." Mr. Koya said. "We can see what the other parents think of this. You understand that we cannot, on one students behalf, go against the wishes of all the other parents." Lindsay smiled. She was a member of the parent council and knew that the other parents would vote in her favor. The students who attended this school came from very liberal families.

"Well, then. We will see you on Wednesday night then." Lindsay stood. She, followed by Melanie, Brian, and Justin, left the office.

"Are you two going to come to the meeting?" Melanie asked as both couples were about to go to their separate vehicles.

"Of course." Brian replied. "I'm not going to sit back and watch while this school makes my son feel like a freak."

"So we'll see you Wednesday at seven then?" Lindsay asked,

"Yep." Brian took Justin's hand. "See you." He pulled Justin to the Jeep. "You and I are going to have a nice dinner and wine and talk." Justin knew exactly what Brian was talking about and was very excited to have the talk.

***

"So, are you sure you're ready? With work and all?" Brian asked as they sat in front of the fireplace, like they liked to do at least one evening a week.

"I can work from home." Justin said. "As long as I can go in once a week to take Rick my sketches." Brian thought for a few moments. 

"Once the child is a year old, he or she can go into the daycare program at the agency. Or there's always the program at the center." Brian said. 

"All of that can be figures out later, Brian. How are we going to get a baby?" Justin asked. Brian had already thought about all that.

"Well, Lindsay loved being pregnant." Brian said. "One of us could be the father..." Justin wasn't sure of that would work, he knew that they would both want to be the father. "You could be the biological father, Justin."

"Really?" Justin asked in shock. 

"Yes. As long as we're equal parents." Brian said. "I asked Lindsay about a year ago if she would do it and she talked to Mel. They decided that they would want to. Then Gus would have a half-brother or sister."

"What if he could have a full brother or sister?" Justin asked. He liked the idea of that. "You could be the father."

"I want you to be, Justin." Brian said quietly. He wanted to have another little piece of Justin in his life more than anything. He already had a natural son and wanted more than anything for Justin to have that too.

"I love you, Brian." Justin threw his arms around Brian, who immediately picked him up and carried him to the bedroom. 

"I love you too, Mr. Taylor Kinney." Brian playfully ran his fingers up and down Justin's ribs. "And I am going to make it feel like we have to do this to try and have a baby. We might as well have as much fun as straight couples, right?" Brian pulled Justin's shirt over his head and started kissing his nipples.

"Sounds like a good idea." Justin said breathlessly. He loved when Brian teased him, went slow, and touched all of his hot spots.

"And we better do it while we can. Who knows what a baby will do to our sex life." Brian started moving his lips down Justin's stomach. "We may not have sex for 20 years." He joked as he pulled un Justin's zipper.

"Never." Justin closed his eyes as he felt Brian's warm breath on his cock. "We'll still be like we are now, only we'll have a little baby to check on when we're done."

"Yeah." Brian gently wrapped his mouth around Justin's shaft. As he started sucking slowly, Justin's hands gripped the bedding. He stopped for a moment to say, "Even when we're all old and gnarly, I'll still love your cock."

"Ohhhh…" Justin moaned. "Yeah."

***

"Are there any other matters that we need to address?" The chairman of the parent committee said. Lindsay stood and walked to the podium. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lindsay Peterson. She is the mother of one of our first grad students."

"Good evening everyone." Lindsay said as she stood at the podium. "First I would like to tell you that my family, as some of you may know, if not like most other families. My partner Melanie and I raise our son together. Also, my son's birth father, Brian, and Brian's partner spend a lot of time with him as well.

"It came to our attention the other day that one of the teachers was afraid to explain to the children that some families, such as ours, were different. My son came home and he didn't understand why his parents weren't married and why they didn't love each other like other mommies and daddies." Lindsay paused, trying to gauge the reaction of the other parents. They all seemed to be listening with interest. "What we wanted to ask tonight is whether the other parents would have a problem with the teachers explaining that some families are different, and that some people love people of the same sex."

A woman in the middle of the crowd stood. "I personally see no problem with the teachers explaining that some families are different and that it's ok. Every family is different and if the only family dynamic that is ok is two married opposite sex parent then most of the children will feel isolated."

"I don't think that it's the teachers responsibility to be explaining homosexuality to our children." A man in the back stood as he spoke. 

"Sir, we aren't asking them to explain it to them per say. We just want them to acknowledge that our son comes from a family that is different from other families and make sure the children know that that's ok." Lindsay said. "We only want our son to attend a school that promotes tolerance and understanding, not only towards homosexuals but towards all people."

"Can we have a show of hands?" The chairman said. "On whether the teachers should acknowledge alternative family dynamics." Lindsay was thrilled that most of the people in the auditorium rose their hands in agreement.

"Thank you, everyone" Lindsay said as she took her seat. 

During the reception, many of the other parents came to speak to Lindsay, Melanie, Brian, and Justin. They were all very interested in how they took care of Gus, how much time he spent with Brian and Justin, and many other things. They were all very nice.

"So, do you plan to have any more children?" One woman asked. Melanie was about to say no when Brian interrupted.

"Well, Justin and I have actually decided that we want to have one of our own." Brian put his arm around Justin. Melanie looked shocked and Lindsay looked thrilled. "We're hoping to get things rolling as soon as we can."

"Brian!" Lindsay threw her arms around Brian. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"We just decided." Justin said. 

"I think that the four of us should go and talk about this. It concerns us all." Brian looked at Melanie to make sure that she felt involved. She smiled at him. 

***

"So we're really going to do this?" Justin asked after an hour of talking. They had gone to a nice little restuarant and ordered drinks and desert. Everyone was even more excited about the new baby situation than Justin had expected. He wondered if this had been what it was like when they were planning Gus.

"Only if you really want to, honey." Brian was a little scared that it wasn't what Justin really wanted. He was reassured when Justin looked at him and smiled. 

"This is what I want more than anything." Justin grabbed Brian's hand. "I just wish we didn't have to wait a whole nine months."

"I'm excited too." Lindsay giggled. "I love being pregnant." Melanie was really excited too. She knew how Lindsay felt about being pregnant and was thrilled that Gus was going to have a brother or sister.

"I can't wait!" Justin exclaimed. He leaned over and kissed Brian gently. "We're going to have a baby." He wanted to stand up and danced, but he controlled himself.

*** It's Official ***

"Congratulations, Daddies." Lindsay said as she walked out of the doctor's office. Brian, Justin, and Melanie were all waiting hopefully to find out if the artificial insemination had taken. "In nine months you are going to have a little angel of your own."

Brian jumped up and swung Lindsay around in a hug. "Careful, Brian!" Justin scolded. He was already protective of his child.

"I think we should celebrate!" Melanie suggested. "Let's go get Gus from school and go out for pizza." She suggested. Everyone was all for it. They were really turning into a family. 

They got Gus and went to Pizza Hut. They decided it was time to tell Gus about the new baby. "Sweetie, we have something to tell you." Lindsay said.

"What, mommy?" Gus asked with his mouth full of cheese pizza.

"Gus, you're going to have a little brother or sister." Brian explained. "Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy. When the baby is born, he's going to come live with Daddy and Justin."

Gus seemed excited. He had seen on TV and in movies kids with brothers and sisters and had been hoping that he would get one too. "When?" he asked.

"In nine months." Justin said.

"Nine months!" Gus exclaimed dramatically. "That's for-EVER!" All four parents started laughing. "Why can't we get one now."

"Well, the baby has to grow bigger." Melanie explained. Gus pretended to understand as he chewed on more of his pizza.

***

"Well, daddy, are you excited?" Brian asked as they sat in front of the fire that night. He and Justin were both wired and had decided to sit together for a while before going to bed.

"You have no idea." Justin said. "I guess now we have to tell everyone. Our families, Debbie, Michael, the boys, Daphne."

"For tonight, let's just enjoy it on our own." Brian suggested. He pulled Justin closer against his chest. "I want you to know that I'm really excited too."

"I know. You don't have to say things for me to know." Justin reminded him. Brian hugged him as close as he could and the reveled in the silence that they had grown to love.

"Let's go to bed." Brian said a few minutes later. The held hands as they walked upstairs. They both seemed to like the contact of holding hands whenever they could.

*** Three Months In***

"Everything is going perfectly." Lindsay said when she walked out of the doctor's office to find Brian, Justin, and Melanie waiting for her yet again. "Don't you three have jobs?" She laughed.

"We have to be here to make sure our baby is okay." Brian said. "Besides, you appointments are always around lunch time." 

"What else did the doctor say?" Melanie asked. 

"Just that everything seems just right and to keep up what I'm doing." She said. There was one thing that she wasn't telling them, but she decided to keep that quiet for now. She wanted to wait a while until she dropped the bomb on Brian and Justin.

"Wanna come over for dinner tonight?" Justin offered. He and Brian had been inviting Melanie, Lindsay and Gus over for dinner a lot lately. "I'll make that pasta thing that Gus likes."

"Sure." Lindsay replied. The way she was feeling these days, she wouldn't turn down food from anyone, least of all Justin.

*** Lindsay Drops The Bomb ***

Justin and Brian were explaining how they were going to decorate the nursery when Lindsay felt she had to interrupt. "Guys, there's something I need to tell you. The doctor gave me some news that I wasn't sure how to tell you."

Brian and Justin both immediately got worried. "Is something wrong with the baby, Linds?" Melanie asked. She was as worried about the baby nearly as much as Brian and Justin were. She was also worried about Lindsay's health.

"There's nothing wrong with the babies." Lindsay said with a smile.

"Thank, Christ!" Brian said before her words set in. "Wait a minute. Babies?" He asked. Lindsay looked down and then back up at them.

"Twins." She said simply. Brian's face went pale, and Justin's face lit up. "I wasn't sure how to tell you guys."

"Twins!" Justin exclaimed. "We're going to have two babies!" He was even more excited now than he had been before.

"Two babies." Brian repeated. He stood and walked upstairs. He wasn't sure how to react to Lindsay's news. 

"I'm going to make sure he's okay." Justin said. He stood and hurried upstairs behind Brian. He found Brian sitting on the edge of the bed silently. "Bri." He said. Brian looked up at him.

"I'm scared." Brian admitted. When Justin looked at his lover's face, he knew these words were the truth. He sat down next to Brian and wrapped an arm around him. 

"We'll be fine, Bri." Justin tried to assure him. "We'll be great." Brian looked into Justin's eyes and could see the excitement there. He decided that his fear wasn't as strong as Justin's excitement, so he put it aside. 

"So I guess we're going to have to rethink the nursery, huh?" Brian turned to Justin and smiled. They hugged and returned to the dinner table. Lindsay and Melanie both looked worried, but seeing the smiles on the guys faces eased their worries.

"So, Linds, is this going to make the pregnancy harder on you?" Justin asked. Lindsay smiled.

"Not really, I'll just be bigger." She winked. "And instead of having to push out just one baby, I'll have to push out too."

"Can we know the sexes?" Brian asked. Justin smacked him in the arm.

"I want it to be a surprise!" Justin exclaimed. Brian grinned, he had known that was coming. "But we're going to have to pick two names for each sex."

"Why doesn't each of us pick two names... One for a boy and one for a girl. When the babies are born, we pick out of a hat." Brian suggested. He was trying really hard to include Melanie in the baby thing, and she seemed to be very happy with his efforts.

"I like Halloran." Justin said. He couldn't remember where he had heard the name, but he had fallen in love with it.

"For a girl or a boy?" Brian asked with a funny look on his face.

"Girl." Justin said. "For a boy, Allan."

"I like Ripley." Lindsay said. "For a girl. Ethan for a boy."

"I choose Ewan." Brian said with a grin. "And Nicole."

"Brian!" Both Lindsay and Justin exclaimed. 

"I like the names!" He said innocently.

"I like Noel." Melanie said. "And Vanessa for a girl." Everyone liked her choice and they wrote down the eight names and put them in a small velvet pouch to wait the six months until the babies were born.

*** 6 Months ***

"Owww!" Lindsay said. She had been having pains in her lower back for the last couple of days and they were starting to drive her crazy. Having heard the sound she made, Brian, Melanie, and Justin were all by her side in a flash. "Just my back again." She told them. She shifted and felt the shooting pain ease.

"Can we get you anything, honey?" Melanie asked. They had been staying at Justin and Brian's house for about a week because the doctor had put Lindsay on bed rest. They wanted to make sure someone was with her as much as possible. Justin had set up his office at home and stayed with Lindsay all day.

"Some soda crackers?" Lindsay asked with a smile. 

"Sure, honey." Melanie said. She was off to the kitchen to get some crackers while Brian and Justin stayed and kept a close eye on her.

"Justin, do you want to talk to them?" Lindsay suggested. "The doctor said they can hear you now." Justin smiled and knelt in front of Lindsay. He started talking to the babies, telling them how everyone was really excited and how they all loved them already. When he said byebye to them, he stood and Brian hugged him.

"Can you believe it? We're going to be daddies!" Justin exclaimed. They were getting more and more excited with everyday that passed.

"I can believe it." Brian said happily.

*** The Nursery Is Finished ***

"And now presenting, a Taylor-Kinney original creation, the baby suite." Brian said as he proudly opened the door for Lindsay, Melanie, Debbie, Michael, Vic, Emmett, Ted, and Jennifer to see.

The room was beautifully decorated with antique baby furniture. There were two cribs, a changing table and two rocking chairs. On the walls was yellow paint and a teddy bear border. Everyone was shocked. The rest of the house was very contemporary, while this room was very country.

"I know what you're thinking." Brian said. "Justin made me do it!" He threw his hands into the air. "But the babies will like it, I think." He touched a hand to Lindsay's belly, like he had been fairly often lately. He liked being able to feel the babies moving inside her.

"And there's a door into our room." Justin said. They had added that so that they could easily check on the babies.

"This is beautiful, you two." Lindsay started to sniffle, she had been crying a lot lately, and left the room. Melanie followed her. 

"Has Gus seen it?" Debbie asked.

"Not yet. We've been keeping it a secret." Brian said. "He'll see it tonight when he gets home from his playgroup." Brian had to admit that he liked having them all in the same house, they were like a little family in themselves. He also had to admit that he wished he had more time alone with Justin.

"I can't believe that in a month and a half you two are going to be parents." Michael said with a chuckle. Brian was the last person he ever expected to choose to be a real parent.

*** 3 Weeks Later, It's Time***

"Oh my GODDDDDD!" Lindsay's wail woke everyone in the house, including Gus, who arrived at Lindsay and Melanie's room at the same time as Brian and Justin.

"Mommy! Are you okay?" Gus asked. Brian picked his son up and put him on his back.

"It's time." Lindsay ground out. The contractions were stronger with the twins than they had been with Gus. Even though she was three weeks early, none of them were surprised, the doctor told that multiples were often premature.

"Justin, get the car. Melanie, help Lindsay get ready. I'll get Gus dressed. And we'll all go to the hospital." Brian said more calmly than he really felt. Everyone did as they were told and they were ready to go in record time.

When they got to the hospital, Michael and Emmett were already there. Brian had called them on the way. Brian handed Gus off to them as they hurried to get Lindsay checked in. They had made arrangements that all of them would be in the room.

"Good luck!" Michael called after them as they followed the orderly who was taking Lindsay to the maternity ward. They said that contractions were close enough together that the birth should go fairly fast.

*** Ta Da!! ***

"I guess it's time to pick names." Brian said as he held his newborn son. He looked at his lover who was holding their daughter.

"Lindsay, why don't you do the honors?" Justin suggested. He held out the velvet pouch that held the names.. "The first girl name you pick will be the babies first name, the second will be the middle name. And same goes for the boys name."

The first name she picked was Halloran. The second was Ripley. "Ladies and gentleman, may I introduce Halloran Ripley Taylor-Kinney." Justin said with a smile and he gently lifted his daughter.

"And now. For our baby boy." Brian said with a smile. Lindsay smiled and pulled the next name.

"Nichole?" She said with a funny look. "Not even you two are gay enough to give your son a girls name." She pulled the next name. "Noel." She said with a smile. She was happy that she had picked one of Melanie's names. "And," she pulled the final name and laughed when she looked at it, "Ewan."

"Yee haw!" Brian said. He kissed the top of his son's blonde head. "Hear that, you're named after Ewan McGregor." 

"Brian, you are shameless." Melanie laughed. She was at least happy that the boy was going to have the name she picked. Thought they had all made sure she was included, she hadn't felt it until just now.

"I know." Brian said as he cooed at his son.

***

"They're both asleep." Justin said quietly when he returned to the bedroom to find Brian sitting up in bed smoking a cigarette. "Finally."

In the past three weeks Brian and Justin had barely slept. Lindsay had been coming over during the day to spend time with the twins and give Justin time to sleep and work. Usually, Brian went over to Lindsay and Melanie's place after work for a few hours of sleep.

The three am feedings were taking their toll on the boys, but they were too excited about being parents to mind it too much. Justin found himself taking more breaks from work to spend time with his children. Brian also tried to spend as much time with the babies as he could. He always came home on his lunch hour and tried to get up for the feedings with Justin as often as possible.

"They're really beautiful, aren't they?" Justin said with a smile as he cuddled up to Brian in the bed. Brian wrapped his arms around his lover and they reveled in the silence that didn't happen often in their house anymore.

"Well, they look like you. Of course they're beautiful." Brian kissed Justin's neck. He started nibbling gently. "Can we take advantage of this rare occasion?" He asked against Justin's skin.

"I love how your mind works." Justin said as he turned himself over to straddle Brian. "Always gunna be naughty, aren't you?"

"Would you still love me if I wasn't?" Brian asked playfully as he slipped Justin's silk robe from his body. Justin sighed.

"Not a chance." He joked. He was happy that things between he and Brian hadn't changed since having the babies. "You have to be naughty as often as possible or I'm going to leave you." He teased as he licked a circle around Brian's nipple.

"Well, looks like I have a reason then, don't I?" Brian grabbed Justin and flipped him onto his back. "And I promise to be really, really naughty tonight." He said as he wrapped his long fingers around Justin's cock. "Lay back and enjoy, baby." 

"Always." Justin moaned as Brian's lips closed around the head of his cock. "Mmm... always." He closed his eyes and reveled in the feeling of Brian's mouth.


	9. Chapter 9

“Papa!!!!!” Hallie whined. “Why can’t I come too?” Brian turned and looked at his six year old daughter. She was standing in front of him in her frilly white nightgown.

“Hal, you know that you can’t come out to bars. We’re going to celebrate Auntie Em’s birthday.” Brian leaned down and kissed his daughter’s cheek. “Now, go watch the movie with your brothers.”

“When is Auntie Mol gunna be here?” Hallie asked. She was in a particularly whiney mood and Brian was starting to lose his patience with her. Justin was working late and was planning to meet everyone at Woody’s straight from work.

“She’ll be here any minute.” Brian replied. He straightened his shirt and ran his fingers through his hair. He picked his daughter up and held her in his arms. “Now, are you going to be a good girl for Auntie Mol?”

“Of course, Papa.” Hallie said, sounding much older than six. Brian almost laughed. His daughter was growing up far too fast for his liking. “Auntie Mol is my favoritest!!” The knock on the front door alerted Brian that his sister in law had arrived. “AUNTIE MOL!!” Hallie exclaimed jumping out of her father’s arms and running to the door. She opened the door and jumped into her aunt’s arms.

“Hi, Hal.” Molly Taylor said with a smile. A university student, Molly loved babysitting for her brother and his husband. They paid her well and she had time to work on her homework in silence after the kids were asleep.

“Hi, Mol.” Brian said kissing her cheek. “I gotta get going. I have to stop and get Emmett a card.”

“No problem. Are the other two little devils upstairs?” She asked dropping her backpack onto the floor and kicking off her shoes.

“Yeah. They’re in Noel’s room watching a movie.” Brian replied. He slipped his leather coat on, grabbed his keys, kissed his daughter, and slipped out of the house. He was thrilled that he and Justin were going to have a night out. Justin was working on a big assignment at work and worked late most nights. Brian loved his children but was finding his patience was running short with them with Justin being around less and less.

~*~

“Happy Birthday, Em.” Brian said with a smile dropping a small box onto the table in front of his, now forty year old, friend. “Welcome to the club.” Emmett smiled and looked up at Brian. 

“Thank you. And where’s your lovely wife this evening?”

“He’ll be here. He’s working late again.” Brian sat down and threw an arm around Michael. “And where’s your wife, dear?” Michael’s boyfriend, Dillon, had become a permanent part of their “family” three years earlier.

“He’s in Japan.” Michael said. “He got called away this morning.” Michael was, to Brian’s surprise, okay about Dillon’s frequent and last minute business trips.

“Too bad.” Brian shook his head. “I wanted to ask him about those things his mom makes.”

“Why would you want to ask about wooden dolls?” Michael asked. Dillon’s mother was a very skilled craftswoman and made the most beautiful dolls.

“For Hallie.” Brian smacked Michael across the head. 

“She already has dolls.”

“My mother in law tells me that no little girl can have too many dolls.” Brian said. As if on cue, Jennifer walked in with her husband Jake. It still shocked Brian sometimes that Jenn and Jake were so comfortable in gay bars. “Hi, mom!” He said sweetly, standing to kiss her cheek. “Jake.” He smiled and shook the man’s hand.

“Hi, Brian.” Jennifer said. “Where’s Justin?”

“Working late. He should be here soon.” Brian replied. He was getting tired of having to explain why Justin was late for one of his best friend’s birthday’s, but he kept telling himself that he had to be supportive of Justin’s career.

~*~

Justin weaved his car through traffic, trying to get to Liberty Avenue as quickly as he could. He knew that he was late and there was a good chance that he would miss Emmett’s birthday party. He ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. He felt bad about not being around for the important things as much lately, but knew that if he wanted the management position, he would have to put in the time now. 

He parked his car outside Woody’s and ran inside. He was relieved to find his friends and family still sitting at several tables on one side of the bar. “Hi, guys.” He said. He leaned down and kissed Brian before kissing his mother and Debbie. “Happy birthday, Em.” He hugged his best friend.

“Hey, sweetie.” Emmett said. “You had better have a good excuse for missing this boy’s 40th.”

“I’ll make it up to you, I swear.” Justin walked back over to Brian and sat down on his lap. “We need to take a vacation, baby.” He whispered. Brian could see that his lover was completely exhausted and made an excuse for them to leave, promising to invite everyone over for dinner soon.

When they got home, they walked inside together. Molly was sitting at the dining room table surrounded by books and papers and the rest of the house was quiet. Justin hated coming home to the quiet. He missed seeing his children. “Hi, Mol.”

“Oh, hi, Jus. Hi, Bri.” Molly said. She starting closing her books and throwing them into her backpack. “They were little angels.”

“Yeah right.” Justin said with a chuckle. He knew that when Noel and Gus were together they were a terror, especially when auntie Mol came to baby-sit. “Are they all asleep?”

“Yeah. Gus fell asleep on the floor in Noel’s room, and I can’t carry him to his own.” Molly said. “Hallie and Noel are both in their beds. Hallie got really tired pretty early.”

“Thanks, Molly.” Brian said. He grabbed his wallet and slipped her a couple of twenties as Justin slipped upstairs to check on the kids. Sometimes, Brian would find him sitting in their rooms watching them sleep. He knew that Justin missed spending time with them. 

“No prob, Bri.” Molly and Brian had become good friends in the years since the children had been born. In her mid teens, Molly had loved taking care of the babies and that love had never dwindled. The kids all loved her too. Even Gus called her “Auntie Mol”.

After Molly was gone, Brian went upstairs and found Justin changing for bed. It looked like there was something on his mind. Brian took Justin’s hand and led him to the bed silently. When they sat, Brian said, “What’s matter?”

“I’m tired. And I miss the kids.” Justin admitted. “In the last year, my job has taken up more time than anything. That wasn’t supposed to happen.” Justin snuggled close to Brian, needing the comfort of his lover’s embrace.

“What do you want to do about it?” Brian asked knowing that before Justin would complain, he would have made a plan of how to fix it.

“Well, I was thinking….” Justin paused. “We’ve made some good investments and we’re well off. I was thinking I could take a leave of absence. The project is almost over. I could take six months or a year and take a lighter project load when I go back. I could spend some time on my own art.”

“What about the management position you wanted?”

“It won’t be for good. I can always try for management when I go back. I talked to Rick and, even though he doesn’t want to see me go, he understands why I want to.”

“So do I. And I’m all for it.” Brian replied. He kissed the top of Justin’s head. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too.” Justin turned and pushed Brian back onto the bed. “Now, I’m going to have my way with you.”

*****

… Two Months Later …

Justin was sitting in front of the fireplace, both of his children asleep in his lap. He had been telling them a story and they had both dozed off. Brian was due back from a business trip any minute. Justin looked down at Halloran and Noel and stroked their hair. Hallie was going to be beautiful and Justin knew Brian was terrified of that fact. Hallie was Brian’s little princess and he never wanted her to grow up. Noel was the quiet one. He loved books and puzzles.

“Hey, honey.” Brian said quietly, pulling Justin from his thoughts. Justin turned and smiled as Brian put his luggage down and walked into the living room.

“Hi.” Justin replied whispering. He pressed a finger to his lips signaling Brian to stay silent. He slipped out from under the kids and slipped pillows under their heads, knowing that he and Brian would carry them to bed soon. Justin walked over to Brian and they walked hand in hand into the kitchen. “How was your flight?”

“Too long.” Brian replied slipping his arms around Justin. “I hate being away from you and the kids.” He leaned down and kissed his lover softly. “Let’s put the kids to bed so I can put you to bed.” He whispered seductively.

After Hallie and Noel were both settled comfortably in their beds, Brian and Justin retired to their bedroom and started undressing each other swiftly. “Jesus, I missed you.” Brian panted as he pulled at Justin’s pants. Whenever one of them had been away, they were like teenagers, fumbling to be together.

“I missed you too.” Justin took a long look at Brian’s still firm torso. “You are so sexy.” Desire dripped from Justin’s words as he started licking Brian’s chest, pausing to nibbled and gently tug on each nipple.

“Uhh.” Brian grunted as Justin moved his head lower. “Don’t… ugh… don’t make me wait, Justin.” Brian tangled his fingers in Justin’s hair and leaned back as the younger man wrapped his lips around Brian’s cock. “Yesssss!” Justin smiled slightly around the phallus in his mouth. He loved hearing Brian’s moans of pleasure.

*****

A Couple of Weeks Later…

Justin was sitting at his easel painting when the phone rang. “Hello?” he answered, annoyed at being interrupted and hoping that whoever called had a good reason.

“I’m looking for Mr. Taylor-Kinney.” A woman’s voice said with some panic.

“I’m Justin Taylor-Kinney. What can I do for you?” Justin replied.

“This is Miss Tate from your children’s school. There has been an accident and Halloran has been taken to the hospital.” Justin felt the blood drain from his face and his heart speed up.

“What happened? Is she okay? What hospital was she taken to?” Justin asked in a panic.

“She fell off of a play structure when the children were out for recess.” The teacher replied. “We’re not sure if she’s ok. When the ambulance took her away she was unconscious. And they were taking her to the Allegheny General Hospital.”

“Thank you, Miss Tate.” Justin hung up the phone and grabbed his keys. When he was in the car and on his way to the hospital, he called Brian.

“Kinney.” Brian answered.

“Brian, Hallie’s been hurt.” Justin said hurriedly. “Meet me at Allegheny.”

“What happened?” Brian demanded in a panic as he dropped his briefcase on the floor, grabbed his keys off his desk and ran out of the office without a word to anyone other than Justin.

“She fell. They said she was unconscious.” Justin felt like he was going to cry. “Meet me. Ok?”

“Yeah.” Brian said. Both men hung up, neither were too concerned about courtesy. 

*****

Debbie saw Brian and Justin at the end of the hall standing with their arms around each other looking through the glass at their daughter. Lindsay and Melanie were sitting in chairs across the hall holding each other’s hands. Debbie knew that Michael, Dillon, Emmett, and Ted were all sitting in the cafeteria having coffee.

“Hey.” She said quietly. Lindsay stood and hugged Debbie. Her face was stained with tears and Debbie was sure that it was worse than Michael had told her on the phone. Hallie wasn’t just hurt.

“Any news?” Debbie asked quietly. 

“She’s in a coma. She hit her head when she fell.” Lindsay choked on the words and had to sit down again next to Melanie. 

“Where are Gus and Noel?” Debbie asked, wondering if they needed her to baby-sit.

“They’re with Molly.” Melanie said. “Jennifer picked them up and took them to her place. Molly is going to stay with them until Jen gets back.”

“Is she here?”

“Jen?” Debbie nodded. “She’s in the chapel with Jake.”

Debbie nodded and walked over to Brian and Justin. She caught a glimpse of Hallie through the glass and it tore her heart out. The little girl, who was always so full of energy was lying lifeless in the big hospital bed, wires attached to her, monitors beeping around her. Her face, usually pink with exertion, was pale white and unsmiling. Debbie wrapped her arms around the two men who were praying that their daughter would wake up. “She’ll be okay.” She whispered. 

Brian turned in closer to Debbie and held her tightly. Both Brian and Justin were raw and not taking much comfort from each other anymore. Debbie held the boy she had known for 25 years and held him close. She didn’t know what to say to him, so she kept silent.

*****

“Auntie Mol?” Noel asked late that night.

“Yes?” Molly asked. She had been pretending to concentrate on the book she held in her hands, but in truth was thinking about her niece, lying in a hospital bed.

“Is Hallie gunna be okay?” 

Molly nearly burst into tears seeing Noel’s wide eyes and the fear in them. She had been so busy thinking about Brian and Justin’s reactions, and her mother’s, and her own, that she forgot how Noel would react. She knew from the call she had received from Melanie an hour earlier that it wasn’t looking good. “I don’t know, sweetie.” She said hoarsely.

“Can I go see her?”

“Maybe tomorrow.” Molly lifted the young, blond boy onto her lap and rubbed his back. She could see that he was terrified and missing his sister already.

“Hallie was Papa’s favorite.” Noel said quietly. Molly felt her heart breaking over what the young boy was saying. “That’s ok, though. I just mean that Papa must be really sad.”

Molly choked back a sob and stroked Noel’s hair. “Your Papa would be just as sad if something happened to you, sweetie. He loves you both very much.”

“I know, Auntie Mol. I know.” Noel sighed as he slipped into an even slumber.

*****

Brian reached out and touched Justin’s cheek. A week had gone by, a week of waiting for Hallie to open her eyes, a week of hope, and now, with just one sentence, the doctor had dashed that hope. Justin brushed away his tears and looked into Brian’s eyes sadly.

“We should… “ Justin’s voice broke and he started to cry once again. “We should go get Lindsay… she’ll want to see Hallie too.” Brian pulled his partner into his arms and held him.

The doctor’s words were “We have very little hope that she’ll wake up and if she does it’s very likely that she’ll have irreversible brain damage.” Brian shuddered to think of the weight of those words. He had to kill his daughter, pull the plug. 

“And we should go get Noel and Gus… they’ll want to say goodbye too.” Justin was babbling now in his hysteria. “And Mom and Deb… and Mol.”

“Justin… Shhh…” Brian stroked the younger man’s hair. “Everyone’s been here. Everyone said goodbye.” Brian choked back the sob that rose up in his throat. “We have to let her go.” He wasn’t sure how, but he was being the strong one. Maybe all those years of building up his defenses had done him some good. He had to be strong for Justin, he could cry later.

Justin looked down at the clipboard that he held in his hand. On the clipboard was the document he had to sign before the doctor’s would pull the plug. A million images ran through his head. He pictured Hallie as a baby, cooing as her father held her for the first time. Then he pictured her as a toddler, running through the house in just a diaper covered in chocolate pudding. And finally, he pictured her on the day of their 6th birthday, wearing a pretty pink dress, white frilly socks, and black patent leather Mary-Jane’s. And then he looked down and saw Hallie, lying there in the bed, pale and lifeless.

“Brian… I…” Justin couldn’t find the words that he needed. He collapsed into Brian’s arms and sobbed. Before the accident he never could have imagined the pain of losing a child, he never imagined he’d have to.

“Justin…” Brian cleared his throat. “I can sign it if you want me to.” He knew what it felt like to be asked to pull the plug and he knew that it was breaking Justin’s heart to have to pull Hallie’s plug.

“Brian… Do you… Do you think she knows that we’re here and that we love her?” Justin asked biting back the tears as he reached down and stroked her cheek.

“I think she has to. She always knew how much we loved her.” Brian replied trying to sound calm. He watched as Justin stroked her cheek and wished that there were something he could do to make all of this pain stop for all of them.

Justin took a deep breath. “Sign it.” He knew that he was doing what was most humane for his daughter. A life lived through a machine was no life at all.

Brian let only one tear escape as he signed the document. He took a deep breath and looked at what he had just signed and he felt like a villain. He felt like he had given up on his daughter. And nothing in the world felt worse than that.

*****

The sun was warm and bright as the people who had attended the funeral of a six-year-old girl stood around the burial site. Brian and Justin stood together, holding Noel’s hands in their own. The young boy had not only lost a sister but a part of him, his twin, and his heart was breaking.

Brian looked at the picture of her that was sitting on top of the casket; the picture that they had decided embodied her perfectly. It’s wasn’t a photograph, but a painting that Justin had done of her when he first started his sabbatical. She was smiling and she had a chocolate milk moustache. The two fathers had decided that a portrait, with a perfect smile and a perfect dress was no way to remember their energetic, outgoing six-year-old daughter. 

After everyone had gone, having retired inside to the reception, Brian stayed and looked at the marker that proved that his daughter was buried beneath the pile of dirt at his feet. “Halloran Ripley Taylor-Kinney. 2006-2012. Loved and Cherished” was the inscription.

“Oh, honey, I hope you know how much we miss you.” Brian whispered, his emotions finally overcoming him. During the time between having to sign the document giving them permission to pull the plug and that very moment, he had contained his emotions. Focusing on giving Hallie a funeral that she deserved and keeping Justin and Lindsay from breaking down, Brian hadn’t had time to lose control.

“I wish I would have gotten to say good-bye to you, sweetheart, and to tell you how beautiful you are and how much your whole family, especially me, and your Daddy, and Noel, and your mama Linds love you.” Brian swiped at the tears on his face and fell to his knees. “And we’re…. We’re… We’re really going to miss you, Hallie. You brightened up our lives.” 

“Brian.” Justin said solemnly from behind him. He had been wondering how Brian stayed so composed, now he knew that he was just holding it back.

“She’s gone.” Brian sobbed. “She’s really gone.” Justin fell to his knees and pulled Brian into his arms. They knelt together in the dirt next to the spot where their daughter lay and they cried. And for the first time, they cried together. 

*****

One Year Later…

“Do you think she’s an angel, Dad?” Noel asked. It was a warm summer day, one year since Hallie passed away. Brian, Justin, and Noel were visiting her gravesite and bringing her a bundle of daisies.

“She always was.” Brian said beneath his breath. Even in a year, the loss of his daughter was still as painful as it was the day it happened. Sure, their family had gone on, trying to spend more time together now than ever. Justin had opened an exhibit at a local gallery and had decided to continue his sabbatical… indefinitely. Brian was still chugging away at his job as well. Noel was in school, a new one since the loss of his sister.

“I hope she’s watching.” Noel closed his eyes and blew a kiss up towards the sky. “We miss you, Hal.”

Justin and Brian tightened their hold on each other as they watched Noel place the flowers on the grave. They could all still remember the sound of her laughter and the way she skipped along like nothing in life would ever be wrong. At times, they all wished that they had her optimism and were glad that she had never seen the bad side of life and the bad side of people. 

As they left the cemetery, Brian looked back at the stone and smiled gently. I hope it’s nice where you are, he thought, and I hope I can join you there someday. I love you, Hallie.


End file.
